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Parent's Wish List and Child's
Bill of Rights
Excerpted from Inside Transracial Adoption by Gail Steinberg and Beth Hall, copyright 2000, Perspectives Press.
It would be so nice if:
- Everyone didn't think they were experts on my family.
- Nobody ever wondered if I was the best parent for my child.
- Nobody ever wondered if I was a good enough parent for my child.
- Nobody in the grocery store checkout line ever asked if my child belonged to me.
- Nobody ever asked at the playground, the emergency room or the barbershop where my child's parents were when I was right there.
- My extended family supported my decision to adopt across racial lines 100 percent!
- I was able to see beyond my experience and anticipate every time racial issues would affect my child.
- I could protect my child from all pain.
- I was always effective in building bridges to my child's culture.
- I had more energy and was able to go the extra mile every time to connect my child to her culture without sometimes making choices that were easier for me.
- I could give my child my white privilege.
- I could participate with my child in aspects of his birth culture without by my very presence making the point that he is different.
- It were easier and more natural for me to seek out friends of my child's birth culture.
- I didn't feel that outsiders through their attitudes about race judged most things I did.
- Nobody ever questioned whether we were their "real" parents or they our "real" children.
- We always "got it" before it happened, anticipated very hurt or affront and were somehow able to protect our children from pain while still giving them the opportunity to become deep and incredible human beings with full capacity to love, care and be happy.
- Everybody could be viewed and valued for who they are on the inside, not just the outside.
A Transracially-Adopted Child's Bill of Rights
Copyright 1996, Liza Steinberg Triggs, Pact Press.
- Every child is entitled to love and full membership in her family.
- Every child is entitled to have his culture embraced and values.
- Every child is entitled to parents who know that this is a race-conscious society.
- Every child is entitled to parents who know that she will experience life differently than they do.
- Every child is entitled to parents who did not adopt him to "save" him or to improve the world.
- Every child is entitled to parents who know that being in a family doesn't depend on "matching."
- Every child is entitled to parents who know that transracial adoption changes the family forever.
- Every child is entitled to parents who know that if they are white, they benefit from racism.
- Every child is entitled to parents who know that they can't transmit the child's birth culture if it is not their own.
- Every child is entitled to have items in his own that are made for and by people of his culture.
- Every child is entitled to make friends with people of her race or ethnicity.
- Every child is entitled to daily opportunities to have positive experiences with his birth culture.
- Every child is entitled to build racial pride within her own home, family, school and neighborhood.
- Every child is entitled to have constant opportunities to connect with adults of the child's race.
- Every child is entitled to learn survival, problem solving, and coping skills in a context of racial pride.
- Every child is entitled to parents who accept, understand and empathize with her race and culture.
- Every child is entitled to take pride in the development of a dual identity and a multcultural/multiracial perspective on life.
- Every child is entitled to find his multiculturalism to be an asset and to conclude, "I've got the best of both worlds."
