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Expert Q&A
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| By Joshua Coleman, Ph.D. Psychologist | ||
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We've been trying to conceive for three years now. Our families do not know. My mother-in-law is a constant source of pressure, telling me to stop focusing so much on work and to start thinking about having babies. She says such rude things, although I know she doesn't mean to hurt me. I wanted to tell her about two years ago, but my husband is a very private person. Now I am very afraid if she knows or finds out that she will be angry, because we have made her look like a fool by letting her believe otherwise and saying all those nasty things. I have myself worried sick over this, so sick that I skipped a family birthday party just to avoid her. Am I doing the right thing?
Your husband is putting you in an awkward position by not letting you tell her. I think you should tell her together and let her know that you didn't want to talk about your difficulty conceiving because you (or he) felt embarrassed or awkward about the fact that you weren't able to be successful. If she gets angry, be empathic but firm in your response that your goal wasn't to hurt her, but to protect yourselves.
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