I went to see the midwife yesterday, and she said I am not "technically" pregnant until they hear the heartbeat at 12 weeks. That seems like a lifetime to wait! Right now, I am just trying to be patient until December 21 which is my next appointment. At least then I will take a blood test and they will try to palpate my uterus. Even at 6 weeks (what I will be then) there is not much they can do except let me pee on a stick or prick me for a blood test. So, for right now, I'm just waiting. I thought I was done with the waiting game once I got the positive pregnancy test! Boy was I wrong!

Anyway, for those of you who are wondering...I had NO idea that I could be pregnant until my chart showed a triphasic pattern around 11 days past ovulation. I had some heartburn, but I thought that I had just been eating wrong. My breasts aren't tender at all, I have very few cramps...actually, I think they are happening mostly at night, because I got up at about 2:00 a.m. to go to the bathroom and they were really noticeable, but not bad. I am not sick to my stomach or queasy at all. Around 10 DPO I woke up VERY hungry every morning, but a small snack would fix the problem. Now I'm hungry every few hours...but so far, never sick.

Every day I wonder if this baby inside of me is going to be OK. I worry about him/her and hope that he/she stays with me until 35 weeks and 6 days from now when I can see him/her face to face. Now that I'm actually pregnant, I'm realizing what a miracle human life actually is...and how fragile it is. I worry that I may miscarry. I hope and pray every night that I don't. I have to admit that I take a pregnancy test every couple of days just to make sure that I'm still pregnant. I'm still taking my temperatures every morning to make sure they don't drop. I know that every day I stay pregnant, I have a better chance at seeing who this baby will look like in 9 months.

So, I think for now I am going to have faith in my body, and faith in my child that is growing inside of it, and move on to the pregnancy diaries. I hope that anyone who is reading this diary will continue to follow my pregnancy on Pregnancytoday.com

I want to thank everyone for their support and encouragement these past few months, and I hope that you all get what you are wishing for.

Take Care,

Julia

(EDD 08/13/99)