Sometimes it's easy to get caught up in this self entitlement attitude. I think, "I DESERVE to have a child now, after all, I've waited and prepared and done this and that..." The truth is, if we all got children based on how much we deserve them, none of us would get them. I mean, none of us deserve or are entitled to such wonderful blessings...but for some reason, we get them anyway. And, if we were entitled to them, and got them on the basis of who really deserved them most, there would always be plenty of people way ahead of us on the list. Maybe this sounds a lot more negative than I mean to be...actually, I think that this is positive. It makes me think that the wonderful gift of a child will be given to me when Fate, God, Nature, whomever or whatever decide to give one to me. Unlike all of the other things in my life up to this point, I can't control this. I guess I could let it drive me mad...but I'm not going to let it. I am going to let the chips fall where they may!

I am still charting and doing what I can to help the hands of Fate (or whatever), but ultimately, I can't MAKE this happen. What an epiphany! Boy, to the average reader, I must sound like a real flake! But, everything written above is completely sincere. A negative or hopeless or pitiful attitude really isn't going to help me at all in my quest to have a baby.

So, here I am...waiting again. Next week's diary entry should find me busy having lots of "private time" with my adorable husband (see picture...'aint he cute?). I hope everyone is doing well. I wish everyone the best of luck...including both Michel(l)e's, as well as all of the readers and diary writers. Also, congratulations to Dawn on her pregnancy...and welcome to the new preconception diary writers (Angela, Jamie, Amy and Kat) as well.

Hey...didn't I read somewhere that the increased estrogen before ovulation causes a feeling of well being? Maybe that was progesterone AFTER ovulation. I don't know....I'm just happy. Oh well!

Take Care,

Julia
TTC#1 C#2 CD#10