Well, if these entries had titles, this one would be "Frustrated in a Family Way." I think I ovulated last night. I had a positive OPK result yesterday (Monday), and I probably had one on Sunday, but I ran out of tests...so I couldn't find out. I had a few twinges last night, and I am pretty sure that it was ovulation. DH and I had this wonderful, romantic evening planned last night. We both came home early from work. He brought home flowers and a bottle of wine (I figured a little sip won't hurt...just to humor him!) and a mushy card just for me. My stepson was at work, so we really took advantage of the time at home alone. We cooked dinner together, had some nice talks. We both knew that we were going to try and conceive a child last night, and we talked a lot about how exciting it was.

Well, the time came, and we retreated into the bedroom. Ick. I couldn't get my mind off of the fact that we were doing this for a purpose. I don't think he could either. We decided that "doing it" for a purpose wasn't any fun, so we decided to give it a rest, and enjoy each others company for a little while longer, and if the mood struck us later, we would act on it. Well, after my step son came home and got settled, we went to bed and one thing led to another and we ended up trying again. Now this time, it was working! Nothing like the old magic to make you forget everything else! Well, it wasn't able to overcome what came next.

Due to our line of work, we have to have our cell phones with us 24/7. Right now is a pretty tough time for our customers because there is not enough product for their demand, and there's no way we can get any. Well, last night must have been really tough for them, because we received five calls from five different people AFTER 11:00 p.m. last night...and the worst part is that they were all received while we were trying to make love. These were not your normal "Yes" and "No" calls, but angry, argumentative customers that needed to be calmed down. Each time we got a call, one of us would get up, and defuse the customer, then try to get back in the mood. After the last call, it was obvious that for whatever reason...someone, somewhere did NOT want us to try and make a baby last night. Poor DH, he was really ready, and now he feels like it's his fault. I told him that we can control A LOT of things in our lives, but some things we have to leave to fate. We did everything we possibly could, and still, things kept coming up (and not the RIGHT things). For whatever reason, it wasn't meant to be last night. Oh well. We have plenty of time...and to tell you the truth, as frustrating as it was, it was hilarious.

By the time we received our third call, we were laughing hysterically and making jokes with each other. Plus, there was this added benefit of the fact that we talk to these people several times a day, they know about our lives in crippling detail...but what we were doing when they called was our funny little secret! We decided that we've got a great story to tell our future kid some day!

After we resigned ourselves to being like frustrated teenagers, DH and I stayed up late last night bearing our souls and talking about everything under the sun. He couldn't understand why we only had ONE day to try and make a baby, and I told him that I misinterpreted my fertility signs, and that if I were charting, I think I would be more sure of myself. The saliva fertility monitor is worthless. There are absolutely no changes in my saliva from one day to the next, and no visible patterns...plus it's a pain in the neck to do. I like charting. I'm a details person, and it makes me feel like I know what's going on in my body. He told me that he was uncomfortable with me charting when he wasn't truly ready to have a baby, but now that he is, he told me that I should do whatever makes me feel the most comfortable and prepared. Well, thank you DH! So, we are not giving up on this cycle yet...but probably only because if we don't finish what we started last night, we will explode and that will be the end of it! But should this cycle not work...(I'd say 99.9% chance that it won't), I will go back to charting, and I won't have to worry about saliva tests and OPK's and such. And hopefully, we will have an easier time with actually DOING the deed as well!

Tee Hee!

I have to quote one of my favorite musicians at this point... "You have to laugh at yourself, because you'd cry your eyes out if you didn't" -Amy Ray, or Emily Saliers of the Indigo Girls...I don't remember which.

Take Care,

Julia