Well, today is day 15 of my cycle, and I am miserable with a cold or flu...whichever one makes you feel worse, that's the one I've got! I'm not going to let my body try to dissuade me from trying to conceive a child this month. Fortunately, I don't usually ovulate until around day 20 or 21 (if last month is any indicator), so I've got a few days to get well before I will be a "baby dancing" queen.

I also have that massage I talked about last week scheduled for Thursday, which will be day 17 of my cycle, and hopefully that will make me feel much better. I have to run to the drugstore today to get some Sudafed for my poor stuffed up nose, so I am debating whether or not to purchase an OPK while I'm there. If you've been following my diary, you know that I purchased a saliva fertility monitor. I bought a good one, too! But, so far I haven't seen any changes in my saliva...it's been a fertile fern every day since the end of last cycle. I'm going to keep using it to see if I can determine any changes in the pattern of crystallization when I ovulate, but at this moment, I don't trust it. And because I definitely want to get pregnant this cycle (remember, I already gave my word that I would be pregnant this cycle), I don't want to take any chances and miscalculate my ovulation.

DH is doing well, and I think he's excited about the prospect of having a baby. We came home early yesterday, and I was able to watch the last episode of "A Baby Story" on TLC. DH used to grumble and go outside when that was on, well yesterday he stayed and watched. I didn't say anything, but I think he's finally COMFORTABLE with the idea of having a baby now. I think he was concerned with providing for his kids, for me and for a new baby and he wanted to make sure that we would be able to live comfortably, even after a new addition. He knows that I want to quit my job, and hopefully stay at home with a baby until he or she enters pre-school. I'm not carving that in stone, but I don't want to have to make the decision to go back to work for only financial reasons. I'm not making a value judgment on this at all...I think it that the decision on whether or not to work or stay at home is an important decision that the mother needs to make for herself and her family. If a woman is going to be unhappy without a career, or if she is going to feel unsatisfied at home, for whatever reason, then she needs to make the decision to go to work...or whatever's best for her. Certainly if a woman is unhappy at home, the child is going to notice. That type of tension has got to affect the child. I just know that for me personally, I may only have one child (it's still open for discussion, but DH says he only wants one), and I want to enjoy EVERY SINGLE LITTLE MOMENT. I don't want to miss a thing.

As you can probably tell from my lack of sense in this entry, I'm having a problem thinking straight. I think I'm going to go home early today (like, right after I finish this entry) and sleep this yucky sick thing off. By the time of my next entry, I will be on cycle day 22. Most likely, I will have ovulated by then, and I will be waiting yet again for either AF to start, or a positive test result. Wish me luck ladies!

Positive Thoughts,
Crossed Fingers,

Julia
TTC#1 C#1 CD#15