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Home › Diaries › Julia's › September 17, 1999

Julia's Diary Entries

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September 17, 1999


Last night, my brother called me and told me that his wife can't figure out what's wrong with her. He said she's nauseous all of the time, and wanted to know what I thought about it. Of course, I knew what he was hinting at. They are pregnant! Apparently they have been trying for one month, and they hit the jackpot. I am so happy for them. But it's a weird feeling. I am so jealous. I mean, I have been wanting this and waiting for this for almost a year now, and they just decide they are going to do it....and bam! I feel very guilty for being jealous, but DH is being very helpful and letting me vent it all at him because I certainly don't want to ruin this wonderful time for my brother and his wife.

I told DH last night that I just want a chance to TRY and get pregnant. I would just like to have sex right around ovulation and see if it works....I mean, we haven't actually gotten to do that yet, and I really would like to. It's just driving me crazy, I'm here, I'm off of the pill, I'm fertile, and I'm waiting. Argh!

DH and I were unsuccessful at even timing intercourse properly this month, so it is highly impossible that we could have made a baby. If I am correct in interpreting my ovulation, then the last time we had sex was 6 days prior to ovulation...unless an egg can be fertilized by dead, zombie sperm, we're out of luck. We both agree that next month is THE month. We are going to "boogie woogie woogie 'til we just can't boogie no more!"

Both of my parents are telling me that we will be very fertile and will get pregnant on the first try. I mean, my parents did, and my brother did...but I still can't help but think that something is different with me. I mean, DH and I have been preventing pregnancy for a long time, but early on in our relationship, we were pretty careless, and I never got pregnant. So, I don't know. Maybe I don't take after anyone in my family. I want this so bad, I keep thinking that something will go wrong and I won't be able to get pregnant.

I'm really trying not to worry or stress about it too much...but I can't stop thinking about it. I am definitely baby crazy. But DH guarantees me that we will be pregnant next cycle. How's that for positive thinking. You know what? I think I'm going to try that. So, you ladies, prepare yourself now for my departure from Preconception.com sometime in November....because I'm GOING to get pregnant next cycle. Period. (No pun intended).

Take Care,

Julia



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