As far as the TTC effort is going, I have absolutely nothing to report as of yet. It's still questionable what my husband is thinking about the effort. I was certain that he was ready to begin trying, but now it seems that his desire has fizzled. I'm on day 21 of my cycle and still have not ovulated. I think with the stress of buying the house and trying to get loan approval, compounded with the impending threat of hurricanes to our home, our family's home, and our farms in Florida and Georgia, my ovulation might be delayed a little...if I ovulate at all. I have noticed that my cervical fluid has changed in the past few days, and I'm starting to see small amounts of fertile quality cervical fluid (egg white). My temperatures are still very consistent at somewhere 97.0-97.2, so I am sure that I will know if I do ovulate. I did mention to DH that if he would like to try and make a baby this month, that we should ML early this week. Well, we certainly have had some fun, but we have had none of what I would consider "reproductive" sex. (If you know what I mean).

I very much want DH to feel like our sex life is the same (wonderful) as it has always been, and I really don't want that part of our relationship to change. I want our sex life to be as fun and enjoyable, as well as meaningful, as it has always been. He seems to feel like the spontaneity of that relationship will be threatened by actively TTC. I don't know how to begin TTC while not making him feel threatened. I'm sure I will figure it out with time...but still, it's hard not to have hurt feelings when you tell someone that IF they would like to make a baby, the next few days would be the right time to make love...and they make no attempt to do so, even after a few passes have been made by the other party (me). I kind of feel like he doesn't want to have a baby with me, and it really hurts. I go off and on about this issue, and I've repeatedly asked him if he's changed his mind. I've told him that I can deal with it if he doesn't want to have a child with me, but I need him to tell me. He vehemently denies that this is how he feels, so I have to accept that he is telling me the truth. But if that is true, and he would like to have a child with me, why doesn't he want to try?

I'm sure I will figure all of this out in time, but I so desperately want to get pregnant. Sometimes I wish I had one of those husbands that went and got the thermometer for me in the morning, or who went and bought OPK kits for me. DH will buy tampons for me in a heartbeat...but the whole conceiving thing has gotten him spooked and I don't know why.

I have to thank everyone who reads this diary, as well as the other diary writers on Preconception.com as well as Pregnancytoday.com. If I didn't have these outlets of information and support, I think I might have gone crazy by now. Of course, I have plenty of time to do that!

Until next week, everyone take care!

Julia