I have driven by this house a million times, and was actually determined to buy a house that was down the street from it. I just never thought that this particular house was even in our price range. I keep telling Carl that I always knew that I was meant to live on this particular street. Anyway, we made our first offer on Friday afternoon (8/27) and the owners countered and we replied. We went through this about three times (we started with a really LOW offer), and finally on Sunday afternoon (8/29) at 4:45 p.m., the offer was signed and the house was ours (pending financing, of course!). We applied for the loan last Thursday, and the person that we talked to basically told us that he couldn't see any reason why we would have any problems, and that our credit ratings were very good -- so we continue to wait. We called the loan people yesterday, and they told us that they should have an answer for us by next Tuesday (9/7).

After we signed the papers Sunday night, I was very excited. I built up some guts and asked DH if we could start TTC this month. He got very angry and told me that I was "jumping the gun." This must be one of those differences in the way that men and women think, because I can't for the life of me understand why this upsets him. He told me that we could TTC when we bought a house. The reasoning for this was that he felt like we should be financially secure and have that "step" out of the way before conceiving. While I didn't necessarily agree with his opinion, I went along with it (I don't think I really had a choice). So, by the time I ovulate, we will HAVE the house. We won't be moved in yet, but we will be under contract, and the financing will have been approved. Legally, at that point, there will be no way for us to get out of buying the house even if we want to. But no, now we must be moved in to the house before we can begin TTC. I'm not really mad, I'm just so frustrated that for some reason, no matter how much we discuss this issue, I still can't really get an understanding of how and why he feels the way he does, and I know that he is equally frustrated for the same reasons. I'm not concerned about it though...there are some things I'm sure that we just won't ever be able to understand about each other. I mean, he still can't figure out why I want to watch a movie that I know will make me cry. I tell him, it's definitely a woman thing. Just like he and his son will buy frozen Salisbury steak dinners and eat them, knowing that they are going to make them sick. I suppose there are some things were are just not meant to understand about the opposite sex!

Another thing that happened on Sunday is that we were talking about what to do with the extra room in the house. Since we'll already have a guest room, there will be one empty room in the house. Of course, I've already gone through the particular room and decided where the future crib will go, but only in my head. DH told my step son that the extra room would eventually be a nursery. My step son asked him if we could please wait until halfway through his senior year in high school so that by the time the baby is born, he would be in college (and out of the house). I can't deny that his comment really hurt my feelings. Being a step parent is a really tough job, and many times I feel like an outsider in my family. Apparently this is a normal feeling, but it doesn't make it any easier. There is my husband, his son, and his daughter, and they are all a unit -- a team. They share a long family history. Then there is me, the outsider who joined up only a few years ago. I know that my step son loves and accepts me, and my stepdaughter respects me, but it still doesn't connect me to them, or allow me to share their bond. So when my step son made it known that he wanted to be out of the house before I had a child, he kind of made me feel like he didn't want to be a part of my future child's life. I know I shouldn't take it personally, but I did.

Anyway, I think my step son is rethinking the issue, and at least is learning to accept the fact that there will be a baby in this household someday (hopefully soon). Yesterday, I told DH I had ordered something from amazon.com and asked him to guess what it was. My step son immediately said, "The Big Book of Baby Names?" It was funny. Just knowing that he's able to joke about it makes me feel better. I know eventually, he will come around and realize that having a new brother or sister can't be all that bad.

Well, I should stop writing now, before I write a book!

Take Care,

Julia