Grace's Diary Entries Diary Navigation: Choose A Diary Entry -------------------- Latest Entry: 8/9/00 -------------------- 8/2/00 7/26/00 7/19/00 7/10/00 7/7/00 7/5/00 6/27/00 6/21/00 6/14/00 6/6/00 5/30/00 5/22/00 -------------------- Grace's Introduction

Introduction

Aug. 9, 2000

Looking toward the future ...

I think that the time has come for DH and I to look towards the future. This pregnancy has brought such mixed feelings. We really miss Alexander and Kelly and are sad by their senseless loss. Sometimes I think that I spent more time thinking about them, then about the baby that I am carrying now. I picked up my medical records from my last OB/GYN to pass on to my high-risk doctor, Dr. M, only to see that it is riddled with inaccuracies. Ugh! Even the date of their death was incorrect. It was very painful. Emotionally, I was right back where I was in March.

Then, miracle of all miracles, DH and I got to see the heartbeat of our little one, the one that I carry now. It grounded us. Yes, we lost much, but we have much to gain and need to focus all of our energies on what can be, not what was. We also learned that my cervix is shorter than normal already. We discussed different cerclage options, but bottom line, I will have one. Whatever it takes, right?

The time has come to tell my boss. She has been so supportive through my last pregnancy and loss, I could not have asked for anything more. I don't know why I hesitated. Yes I do. I did not want to alarm her and raise the red flag for nothing. Now that I have seen a heartbeat, I know that this pregnancy is more viable. I am planning on taking her out to lunch the next time I am in the office. I will tell her in person, face to face. She knows me so well; I bet she has already guessed.

Well it looks like I will be moving on to the Pregnancy diaries next week. Please do continue sending us your support. It has been most appreciated.

Thanks for everything!
Keep your eye on the prize!
Grace