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July 11, 2001
July 11, 2001
Hello all! Now where do I go from here! It really makes me sad to see ladies leaving the diaries. I know it is stressful but I don’t think the desire to TTC ever goes away. I know, in my case, it hasn’t. I know that right now there are many mountains in my way that are preventing me from TTC but when I return, I will be ready! I hope that as I approach the time yet again that I can return to actively TTC, I am more financially secure, as well as emotionally secure. I have spoke to some people about IUI and donor sperm here in Birmingham and as it appears, there is only one clinic that will do this. That is fine, I can go there! Just seems so unfair that while in Atlanta the clinics were a dime a dozen and here, only one. I guess that just goes to show that living in the big city has its advantages. Financially, I don’t think I will ever BE ready. I know that right now, I am without insurance and that mountain is one that I am not willing to even look at. I will wait until that mountain is grated down to nothing. I should be getting insurance coverage in the next couple of weeks. Then, the priority shifts to getting and maintaining some stability and balance in my life. Hopefully, that won’t take too terribly long. I know with the thoughts of an impending divorce on the horizon, of course stability and balance are tougher to achieve, but I fair much better most days than I did a few months ago. Growing, ahhhhhhhh!
And dating, of course never has much stability to it. I have been very open with most of the men I have gone out with more than once about the issue regarding TTC. And, much to my surprise, most have been very supportive. One man actually suggested that I not use a sperm bank, that I find someone willing to father a child so that I could have a complete medical history for my child. He wasn’t, however, suggesting that he be that person. LOL! And, of course, there are plenty of men out there who just want to practice! Oh, the joys of dating! Joy, that isn’t a joy that is a royal pain in the neck! I sure wish I didn’t even have to deal with that aspect of being single. Oh well, Growing, ahhhhhhhhhhh!
On another note, I have never been too much of a goal setter/achiever! I know you can really tell that from the couple of paragraphs above but I haven’t. I am very organized, meticulous and planned, up to about 2 weeks from now! After that, I am lost! So, that is one of my mid-year resolutions. I am going to set some goals and attempt to work toward them. Now bear with me, that is my goal, to set some goals. That is one down, right? Growing, ahhhhhhh!
I do plan to get myself moving in a more physical direction. Most days, I go straight home from my desk/computer oriented job to my desk at home and surf and chat on my computer until bedtime. I eat my meals at that desk and usually log off only to shower. So, one of the goals that I am setting is to go to our club house and workout after work for at least 30 minutes several days a week. Hopefully, I will build up to a point where I can manage to ride the stationary bike or walk on treadmill longer but for now, 30 minutes. I have a degree in Physical Education and no one, not one single person that knows me now would ever guess. So, that is my goal, to lose some weight, (btw, can’t really afford Jenny Craig but would love to go back soon)! So, check on me and see if I have made it to my work-out session. This is not my first real goal to set because returning actively to TTC is the main goal but otherwise, this is the first goal I am setting for myself with my mid-year resolutions. My goal for now: go to clubhouse and work-out at least 3 days a week! I have always believed that working out is addictive and I hope it is for me. Growing, ahhhhhhhhhh!
So, if you have time, stop by my board and see if I am working toward ACHIEVING my new goal or even better, if you have yahoo messenger or aol either one, I chat with bamababeee and would love some words of encouragement. So, now, I am off to Grow, ahhhhhhhhhhhh!
Thanks for listening (reading)!
jam
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