We have just come off a long weekend here in Australia -- the Queen's Birthday holiday. It worked out well for me as my birthday was on Monday, so I had a public holiday for it. I was the big 24! We went away camping and motorbike riding for the weekend. It was great fun except that it was a bit chilly and it also rained. But that is what you get for going camping in winter!

It has now been two weeks since my miscarriage. It actually sort of feels like I was never really pregnant. Although it is strange DTD with protection again. We are only using condoms as I don't want to throw my system out again by going back on the pill. In a way I actually hope that something goes wrong with a condom and I fall in again before I'm meant to, although I would never deliberately try again before the doctor says it's OK to. I know that sounds selfish, but I still have a hard time seeing other pregnant women or people with little babies. When we were trying before, I used to long for it to be me, and when I found out I was pregnant that longing eased so much. So I suppose I want that feeling back, that it will be me holding that baby soon.

I know one lady who is about six months pregnant (unplanned) and her husband walked out on her a month ago (I know, what a scumbag). Anyway, they own a house in our street that they have been renting out to help drop their mortgage (as they have trouble managing money), well now she is going to move back in on her own (I think before she has the baby). I am dreading her moving back because I know that it is going to be hard for me to see her all the time. I know I am really mean for feeling this way but it is something that I have little control over. When I have one of my "its not fair" moods, I rant and rave about how come I have to have problems when I have done everything right, had a husband who loves me, a stable home life, own my own home, actually planned for this and then lose it. It can be so unfair sometimes.

On the positive front, I am now taking folic tablets and also a multi-vitamin syrup (which tastes revolting) but I figure it can't do any harm and may do some good. My Mum has been making sure that I take them also. She wants me to do everything possible to help for the next pregnancy to be healthy, which is really good.

Well, I think I have raved enough for now so thanks again for reading and letting me get all my feelings out.

Good luck to all.

Lea