Jenny W's Diary Entries Diary Navigation: Choose A Diary Entry -------------------- Latest Entry: 3/12/01 -------------------- 3/6/01 2/27/01 2/21/01 2/13/01 2/6/01 1/30/01 1/23/01 1/16/01 1/12/01 10/18/00 10/11/00 10/4/00 9/20/00 9/13/00 9/6/00 8/30/00 8/22/00 -------------------- Jenny W's Introduction

January 12, 2001

TTC#1, C#11, CD#13

Hello again. Before I began this entry, I went back and reread my previous diary entries. The last time I wrote was Oct. 18, 2000. How happy and excited I was at that time. Things have changed since I last wrote. For those of you who don’t know, I had a miscarriage a week after that last entry. It was such a disappointment to DH and me. The excitement and joy over expecting a baby disappeared just as fast as it came. Since then, I have been a regular visitor to the friends I have in this group. Some are still here, some have moved on the Pregnancy Today diaries. I am so thankful to have this wonderful group of women to talk with and learn from. I missed being an active part of the group. I was informed that I could return as a writer, so here I am. Excited to be back, but also hoping I don’t remain here long.

What I learned from my miscarriage is that they are much more common than I ever knew. Millions of women have had them and go on to have successful pregnancies. I’m hoping that I am one of them. This is our first month of TTC since the miscarriage. We skipped two months: one by doctor’s orders, the next for no reason other than it was the holidays and we were busy. Am I really on C#11? Or do I start over at 1 with the miscarriage? I don’t know. I feel like I should acknowledge that I did get PG, had a miscarriage and am on C#2. But here I am 11 months after beginning this journey and still without a baby. So I guess I am on C#11. That is a hard thing to accept. However, with the new year brings renewed hope. I am careful what I wish for now though. I always wished to get pregnant. Now I know that isn’t enough. I wish for a baby. You have to get through your pregnancy to get your reward.

Today, I am on CD#13. Unfortunately, DH goes to Houston tomorrow for a week of PGA stuff. I wish the timing were a little better. I usually O on CD15-17, so his leaving on the 14th is earlier than I would like. But you never know. Today’s OPK was not positive. Darn! I have only used the OPK once before, and I got PG. So, I’m a believer.

On a lighter note, DH and I have been wanting a dog. Two days after the miscarriage, DH insisted we go see a litter of labradors up in Phoenix. I’m not sure if the thought of a puppy made him feel better, or he thought it would make me feel better. But we went up specifically to see a chocolate lab from a reputable breeder. We ended up falling for a little black boy we named Tex. A month later, after my guilt couldn’t take his sad eyes every time I left the house, we bought him a friend, a little yellow girl lab we named Annie (as in Oakley). They are wonderful and we just love them to death. BUT, I see why the humane society says you have to have the time and money before you get a pet. They take all my spare time, no time to myself anymore. And so much money too! Vet bills, toys, food. It’s almost embarrassing to think about how much money I spend on those dogs. But it is so much worth it. I wouldn’t trade them in for the world.

DH turned 30 on Dec 30, so we had a big birthday/housewarming barbecue party that was a lot of fun. The holidays were good. DH’s parents visited from Wisconsin and here we are in the new year.

Sorry for such a long entry. I’ll keep it short from now on. Congratulations to all the "graduates" since I was here, and here's to +++++ for the rest of us. 2001 babies for us all!

Jenny