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Introduction

C#14, CD#15

This was written on 12/22 - but it accidentally was sent before finished, so I had to redate and re-send it. Oops! :)

Hi All,

Well, I didn't have the best u/s appointment this morning. It's kind of a long story, so bear with me. I should start by saying I've felt a tightness on my right side for a day or two, but had neg. opk sticks, so I didn't go in until today, on the cd my doctor recommended (based on my history of ovulation). I should have gone in yesterday (I'll explain why). I went in this morning and there was a different u/s team (tech and nurse) than on weekdays. The nurse is sitting at the counter, with an open swimsuit catalog in front of her. Without so much as a hello, she asks me a series of 2-word questions ("Cycle Day?" "Clomid Days?", etc) and then says, in a rather snotty voice, "You do know we're closed on Christmas Eve and Christmas Day, don't you?" No, I hadn't known that. I knew about Christmas day, but nobody told me they'd be closed on Monday as well. So, we proceed with the u/s, the nurse only pausing from her catalog perusing long enough to write down measurements. Turns out I only have ONE mature follicle (good news tidbit number two of the morning). It was 25 mm, so I am kicking myself for not going in yesterday. She tells me I'll only have one IUI and then asks (again, snottily) if I've brought my injection meds with me. Did she take me for a complete idiot? So, I got the shot at the office and left, annoyed. Had I gone in yesterday, I could have gotten the shot last night and had 2 IUIs this cycle (today and tomorrow), instead I can now have just one. Granted, I realize that many people get pg just by doing one IUI in a cycle, but it was just kind of a disappointing visit all around. I am feeling more positive about things than I was initially, and Christmas is the time for miracles! What I really didn't appreciate was the rudeness with which I was treated by the nurse. What gives? There's only one reason women would be hiking it out to the RE early on a weekend morning, the last thing we need is to be treated badly by the dr's office. I've had nothing but positive experiences with everyone else. I'll just hope I don't have to deal with nurse bikini next time I go in! Watch, with my luck she'll be doing my IUI tomorrow - actually, I think she might. Great.

I've been thinking a lot lately about my fertility journey. Each time we've moved on to something else - clomid, IUI's, etc - I've been excited with the "I hope this is it!" feeling, yet worried that each step was one step closer to being at the end of my "fertility rope," if you will. I'm sure many women can relate. Well, lately my attitude has changed somewhat. I was thinking the other day that, barring any unforeseen circumstances, we will be done with TTC by the summer, one way or another. Hopefully I will be pregnant, but if I'm not we will have had 3 IUI's, a lap, and then 3 more IUI's, and it will be time for us to call it quits in terms of having a biological child. And you know, I'm actually looking forward to being done with this. I realize that there is not a woman out there trying to get pg who isn't looking forward to the time when she's done trying. I guess I'm surprised that the prospect of adoption doesn't bother me as much as I would have thought. I'm just looking forward to the time when I don't have to think about all of this, take mood-altering hormones, and just be completely consumed by my desire to get pregnant. It's nice to think that, wether I have a baby on the way or an adoption process started, I will not be trying to conceive by this time next year. It almost makes me feel relieved, if that makes any sense.

Anyway, I've done enough rambling. I hope that everyone has a wonderful holiday and enjoys the time spent with family and friends. We are having family in this weekend and I'm just finishing bgetting the house together so I won't have to do anything tomorrow but relax and enjoy our company.

Best of luck to everyone out there - stay positive!

Laura