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September 26, 2001
C#11, CD#21 ?DPO
Hi All,
I'd like to start by telling Jennifer how very deeply sorry I was to hear about your miscarriage. I had such a positive feeling that this would be the pregnancy to you. You and Cory are in my thoughts and prayers.
I write today, more than a little frustrated at my stinkin' body! I may have O'd, somewhere around Sunday or Monday (cd 18-19), as I got a strong OPK surge on Sunday, then had O pains, as I have every O month on clomid. However, I had pretty severe pains this month, and then on Tuesday morning I was awaken out of a dead sleep with AF-like cramps. This never happens to me so long before AF is due to arrive. It happened again during the day, then nothing. To top things off, I took my temperature this morning and it isn't really above coverline, so I don't know if I have O'd, or if my thermometer is out of whack. I really don't know what is going on with my boday. I'll find out next week if I O'd, depending on what my bloodwork reveals, but in the meantime I'm a little baffled, and kind of worried. The thought of endometriosis has been a sneaking suspicion that I've tried to put in the back of my head. Now I wonder if it's more than a suspicion. More than ever I am ready to move on to the RE to find out what my deal is!
Also, I have heard the line "You're so young, you shouldn't be worried about having children," more times than I care to recollect, and it was inferred in a conversation recently. Yes, I'm only 26, and I suppose if I were five or ten years older, I might be a little more concerned about having kids in a timely fashion. But does the fact that I'm "so young" mean that I want children any less? Of course not! It doesn't make it hurt any less that I'm not pregnant after a year of trying, it doesn't make my heart sink any less when I see a newborn baby, it doesn't make me hope any less that this month is going to be the month. Sure, maybe I have more fertile years ahead of me than if I was older, but it hurts just as bad that I don't have a baby yet. I just had to voice my opinion on that, because it really bothers me to hear it!
Other than me complaining about TTC, things here are just really busy (which probably is one of the reasons I'm a little crabby). I have 2 grad. classes this semester, one on Saturdays (ALL day Saturday). DH is also in grad classes on Friday evenings and all day Saturday. It just stinks! Not only are we paying for college for two of us, but we're hardly ever home together! Next weekend we are going on a dinner cruise for my birthday, so I am really looking forward to that. I'll just be glad when things slow down a bit.
I hope you are all having a good week. It's been a while since we've had some +++ news - who's in line to be next???
Take care,
Laura
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