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March 12, 2001
C#5, CD#26
Hi All,
Well, the results are in. I was anxiously awaiting my doctor's call all weekend (more on that later) and finally got the SA results today. As it seems appropriate to do so, I've decided on a subtitle for today's entry:
THE GOOD, THE BAD, AND THE UGLY
The Good...
Yes, we all like to start out with the good news first. And I am happy to say that my dear hubby has enough men to do the job. I didn't get specifics as to the exact count (I'll ask next week), but my doctor said his count is fine.
The Bad...
As much as I was hoping there wouldn't be a down side, we did find out that DH doesn't have olympic swimmers. His motility was 40%. My doctor said it is best to have it be over 50%. She recommended that we call the urologist, which I immediately did after getting off the phone. So, DH will go in on March 28 to see what is going on and what can be done.
The Ugly...
ME! I hate to say it, girls, but I cracked on Friday. After months of tediously cultivating a more relaxed attitude (while still walking the line to keep from becoming lax about the whole thing), I lost it. It's stupid, really. I was waiting all day to hear the results. I called in the morning, checked messages periodically during the day, and then again when I came home - no call. I was out in the yard with Ocho for not even 5 minutes, and that's when she called! And, since I had just checked the messages, I didn't even think of it again until it was too late. I totally let my fears get the worst of me, too. In her message, my dr. asked me to call her back. So, I took the fact that she didn't say things were okay to mean that something was wrong, and boy did my mind start going! I just cried and cried, thinking that the whole situation was helpless and there must be something really wrong. I will say, to my credit, that I got over it in a relatively short time, and the worry was only a little nagging voice in the back of my head for the rest of the weekend. But I should have known better. The entire situation is in God's hands, not ours. Yes, we can make sure we do our best to take care of the things we have control over, but this is the "lot," if you will, that we have been given, and no amount of hysterics on my part will make in any better, so I've just got to trust that things will work out for the best, in time.
I am really not as upset as I was afraid I would be, and DH is also doing great. Of all the things that could be wrong, this is not a horrible thing. I was thinking about it, and I am just so thankful to be a part of this TTC network. If I hadn't heard about so many other people conquering problems like this (and worse) and conceiving, finding out about this would have really hurt. But, I know that there are things that can be done, and I know that this is just a hurdle to get over, but nothing that we can't overcome. I really do appreciate all of the support and information that everyone has always been so willing to share. You guys are great!
And speaking of support and information...I know that there are vitamins that improve motility. Any input? Please let me know on my TTM board! I am going to go to the health store, too, and find out what will help. I will O next Monday, and I am still looking forward to it. I have renewed my quest to find that darn EWCM, especially now - I figure if all of DH's guys can't make it to the party, the least I can do is keep them comfy until the guest of honor arrives (oh boy, lame TTC metaphor!).
I will update again next week after my doctor's appointment. She said she'd like to talk about other tests she may run on me. Then there is the urologist appointment after that, so we are moving along.
Well, we are off to our last night of dog class tonight - we're so proud of our girl (hee hee)! As always, positive thoughts to all of you! Have a great week.
Laura
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