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Home › Diaries › Diana › January 18, 2000

Diana's Diary Entries

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January 18, 2000

Hello!

It's now been over three months since the miscarriage. I am doing very well as far as that is concerned. It was very hard at first. I cried a lot, in public and in private. Now I'm looking forward to being pregnant again.. and hoping it happens soon.

Unfortunately, Carl and I haven't gotten to the "TTC" point yet. We are anxiously awaiting good ol' Aunt Flo, who seems to be taking her own sweet time in coming. My last AF (which was the first one after the m/c) came on December 3. I started charting my temps every day, but so far I can't even tell if I've ovulated. I got so frustrated with it, I haven't even taken my temperature in over a week (of course, I also ran out of room on the chart I downloaded -- it only goes to 40 days and I'm now on day 58). I just decided to cross my fingers and will AF to come, but it doesn't seem to be working. I have been trying to convince Carl that we can start "practicing" now, and there's no way I can get pregnant until after my next AF. I think I'm wearing him down, but as soon as AF comes, we will officially begin trying to conceive. I hope it doesn't take more than a couple cycles once we start, but we will just have to wait and see. As it is, I'm going to be 24 before I have a child (I know that sounds young, but I was certain I'd be 23 when I gave birth to my first), and hubby will be 37.

As far as my everyday life goes.. I've decided to go back to college. I started Monday (yes, it was a holiday, but apparently some people in upstate New York didn't care). I'm only going part-time, but it's a start. I'm taking 6 credit hours (3 credits of Math and 3 of Literature), and I'm afraid it's going to take me years to finish at this rate!! Anyway, that's the exciting news in my life right now. I kept putting it off, but when all of my high-school classmates graduated last year and entered the workforce, I decided to take it a bit more seriously. Not only that, there's only so long that a person can work at a fast food restaurant before they go crazy!!

I am trying to decide if I want to go with my family practitioner or an obstetrician the next time I get pregnant. I was perfectly content seeing my FP last time, but when things went wrong he had to refer me to an Ob. I wonder if I will be more comfortable just starting out with the Ob and sticking with her throughout my pregnancy. The advantages to staying with my FP are locality (he is about 15 miles closer to my home and just up the road from my job) and familiarity (he has been my husband's doctor for years and I have really gotten to like him). On the other hand, an Ob would be more likely to detect complications and know how to handle them. The obstetrician that did my D&C offered to be my Ob, so I may just go with her. I am so worried that something will go wrong this time around too, and being with her would probably put my mind at ease to some extent. Anyway, I have a little while to think about this, but any advice would be welcomed!

I don't think I have any other exciting news, so that's all for now. Hopefully next time I write AF will have come to call!

Until next time, take care!!

Diana Elena



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