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September 8, 2003
Hi!
I hope everyone had a nice weekend. My DH is away for a week at a conference so I’m pretty lonely (whine, whine, whine).
I figure I’ll continue catching everyone up on what they’ve missed and eventually I’ll write about what’s going on now! Hopefully soon!
Anyway, here goes...
The Initiation: Infertility 101
As I left off with my previous entry, my GYN (who is a bit crazy—disheveled appearance, absent-minded…but a nice guy nonetheless) put me on Clomid. Silly me expected that to be the beginning of the end…HA!
CYCLE 4: Clomid (Round 1)
I took 50mgs on days 3-7. According to my FM, I never O’d. So I assumed that’s what happened (despite having a clearly biphasic chart). I started spotting on CD 23. I remember asking the GYN if all that spotting was normal. His answer, “No.” That’s it, no clarification at all (and honestly I never have gotten more of an answer from anyone). Then he had me do an hpt which was the first of many BFNs. That cycle was about 28 days long. Oh and can I just tell you how sick Clomid made me? I used to gag as I drove to work…what fun!
CYCLE 5: Clomid (Round 2)
GYN insisted that I stay on 50 mgs for another cycle. So I did. I finally got Peaks on my FM on days 21 and 22 (clearly this dose wasn’t doing it for me). I started spotting on cd 26 (DH and I were in Providence for the weekend celebrating our second anniversary—perfect timing, eh?). I never had a clear temp shift but my temp dove on cd 33 so I figured that was the end of that cycle.
CYCLE 6: Clomid (Round 3—TKO).
This cycle, my GYN upped my dose to 100mgs and started monitoring me. Those were the days when I loved having u/s’s to see my follicles. Ah innocence. That cycle started out fine—I had learned taking Clomid at night eliminated about 90% of the evil Clomid side effects (everything but the hot flashes).
During this time, my Grams was doing very poorly. That winter, we’d lost my Grandfather to cancer and also discovered that my Grams (who had been in remission for years) was also dying of cancer. She had breast cancer that metastasized to her lungs. My parents had moved in with Grams after my Grandfather died and they had sold their home (they had another in FL, which is where they now live). She was doing poorly, but her death was not supposed to be eminent. Famous last words…
On Thursday June 28th, I went for an u/s and blood work. Everything looked great and then later that day the GYN’s nurse called to tell me that I needed an HCG shot (first I’d heard of this) but my GYN decided to leave for vacation early and she couldn’t find anyone to give me the shot (neither could I—I called all the doctors I could). I was literally in tears at work…plus I was sick (bad sinus infection) so the bad news only made everything worse. I figured that was as low as the day could get. Alas, that was not the case. When I got home, I received a call from my bil. My Grams had just died (my parents were about to board a plane for FL when they got the news). I was devastated—she meant the world to me. It truly was one of those “spots of time” moments that Wordsworth wrote about…the kind that are burned into your memory. Even today, thinking of it brings tears and pain. I remember that I was heating up left over Chinese food for dinner. After the call, I just sat on the kitchen floor and sobbed. My small family that I was unable to add to had been reduced by two people in less than a year.
I hoped that out of the darkness would come light—so when I got a Peak on my FM the day of my Grams’ wake I thought it was a sign. But I started spotting on CD 26 and then AF came…there was no hope.
CYCLE 7: Clomid (Round 4)
This cycle seemed to go very well. My E2 number was good, I got my HCG trigger on CD 11 and O’d on CD 13. I received an HCG booster 5 dpo. I didn’t start spotting until CD 28! But there was no BFP that cycle—a very bad trend, I’m afraid.
So onward and upward, right?
CYCLE 8: Clomid (Round 5)
This brings us to August 2002. I was on 100mgs and triggered on CD 13. Again things looked good and I got my HCG booster a few days post-O. I started spotting on CD 28 (wow a pattern!) and again got a BFN. By this point, I figured enough was enough. I had called an RE and met with him. I’d had enough of the crazy GYN and I wanted a specialist. I wanted results, dammit!
CYCLE 9: Clomid (Round 6—Ready for battle)
After meeting with the RE, we decided to do two more Clomid cycles and add IUIs to the mix. Oooh how excited I was. I thought for sure that was the answer! He upped my dose to 150mgs (still not sure why as I was O’ing on 100, but I was at one of the top clinics in the Northeast and I trusted them). I triggered on CD 10 and had IUIs on CD 11 and 12. My lining was only 6mm, but I was assured that it made sense to do the IUIs because you never know. And thus I was introduced to the wonderful world of catheters. DH and I made a “date” out of each IUI session—we’d get to the clinic at 7AM, he’d produce his sample and then we’d rush the little brown bag up to the sperm lab (I swear it was like going through a maze to find the lab). After that mission was accomplished, we’d go to Dunkin Donuts for breakfast and then return to the waiting room to, well, wait. My first IUI was uncomfortable. I felt awful afterwards and spent the day on the couch. The second day was a little better, but I still felt like crap. AF arrived after CD 25. Sigh.
CYCLE 10: Clomid (Round 7--The good-bye and more fun).
This cycle was more or less a repeat of Cycle 9. 150mgs, I triggered on CD 12 and my lining was only 5mm.It was clearly time to say buh-bye to Clomid. The lovely anti-estrogen effects were in full force and honestly, I’d had more than enough of those stupid pills.
I had my HSG done on CD 10. What a lovely test that was. They were only able to view my right tube as they hit a vein and had to immediately end the test. It was so bizarre—at least 3 doctors ran into the room yelling “Stop, stop!” I swear I thought they’d killed me or something! They said that if one tube is clear the other generally is and since you only need one anyway…so we left it at that.
I had my IUIs on CD 13 and 14 and they were pretty painful, but the worst was to come. I started spotting on CD 26 and AF came the next day. I closed the book on Clomid and prepared for the next phase of treatments—injectibles.
Until next time,
Jen
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