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January 5, 2004
Happy belated Christmas, Chanukah, and New Year to everyone! I was lucky enough to have December 23-January 5th off from work. It was a well needed vacation (even though I spent most of it cleaning out closets and our basement! We did see "Lord of the Rings" and I went on some shopping sprees!).
Odd Timing
The Tuesday before Christmas I went for my pelvic MRI. While I was waiting in line for the admissions paperwork who walks by but our neighbor whose wife just had a baby? This is a huge hospital and the chances of seeing someone we know (never mind someone who has just spawned) are not good. I should have played the lottery since it was my “lucky” day. He told us to stop by later to see the baby. Mind you we like them and all, but seriously when you’re doing IF stuff the last thing you want is to admire someone else’s baby. (Plus his wife had a c-section and I’m sure she didn’t feel up to entertaining us!). Sorry, but them’s the facts. I did get them a card though...just haven’t put it in their mailbox yet. ;)
The suckiest time of the year!!!
Christmas was horrid this year. We went to my mother-in-law’s house and had so-so food (I brought the only dessert so that ought to give you a basic appraisal of the food choices. Good thing I’m a good cook!), boring company, and general uncomfortableness. You’ve got to understand that it was just Chris and me, mil, bil and sil (who are divorcing), their toddler, and Chris’ odd aunt who wasn’t even planning on attending. It was my first Christmas sans parents and I was down to start with (oh yeah the m/c didn’t exactly lighten my mood for the festivities). Bil and sil came 1.5 hours late, mil was in a bad mood, Chris and I were just generally downtrodden and sad, my niece was cute (of course!), and the aunt showed up in time to eat but like everyone else (besides me—yes, I am bitter) didn’t bring anything or offer to help. Oh wait, but we got to hear her go on and on about her granddaughter’s PG and how she called her the other day crying because she felt the baby kick for the first time. If I could have ended my torment with a butter knife you can bet your butt I would have. Instead I stared at my plate and wished I could hibernate through the winter. I felt even more festive when mil said to Chris and me that this was the worst Christmas...only because of sil and bil’s divorce (she went on and on about that). Chris and I just sat there with our mouths open—even Chris was pissed that she wouldn’t even offer a shred of pity to us after the year we’ve had (and he always thinks I’m just being paranoid about her disregard!).
The most excitement we had was when my niece grabbed one of the window candles and smashed the bulb (picture four adults trying to wrestle a sparking instrument of death from a 16 month old’s kung-foo grip). I thought mil’s expensive custom-made curtains were going to blaze (wouldn’t have been a huge loss—she paid a lot for ugliness). So we had my apple pie and cookies and then drove 3 hours home. The “good” news is that my parents were equally as miserable and basically stated that they will always come up for Christmas from now on. Yeah!
That’s It?!?
My sister and bil came to visit us the next day and we went to NYC that Saturday to see the tree at Rockefeller Plaza. What a HUGE disappointment that was. The tree looks spectacular on TV, but in person is the biggest letdown. My bil called it the worst “Charlie Brown Christmas Tree” ever. ;) Oh well, at least I can say that I saw it. We also went to St. Patrick’s Cathedral where I lit a candle for all my friends dealing with IF. I’m not Catholic so I probably did it wrong, but hopefully someone out there is listening (and I don’t mean the policemen who stood outside the church with their machine guns!).
Happy Freaking Anniversary
Things have picked up in TTCland. This month marks two years of unsuccessfully TTC baby D. Now there’s a sucky milestone for you! As it turns out my torture last month was for naught. All my tests (including the pelvic MRI) were 100% normal. I am indeed structurally sound. So that’s the good news. The other good news is that Dr. H recommended that we start another cycle right away (and not do the EFT, which he doesn’t think holds much value yet). So as soon as AF shows (due this weekend) I’ll start BCPs in preparation for IVF #3. Dr. H is extremely hopeful for us and admits that there is something “so freaking subtly wrong” with me, but feels that IVF will overcome whatever it is (I am an enigma! Hehehe). He did recommend PGD (embryo testing), but doesn’t think it’s 100% necessary (yet). They are writing to my insurance company to see if they’ll cover it (it costs $5000) and if they won’t we’ll hold off for now. That’s a lot of money to spend if you’re not sure there is a problem.
Dr. H. is such an amazing guy and he loved the cookies I gave him—he even brought one home to his wife. Awwww. He really keeps me going—he’s positive yet realistic and just a damn nice guy. I bet if he had a new baby I could go see it with no evil thoughts in my head. ;)
2004
My #1 New Year’s resolution--why to get and STAY PG, of course.
Jen
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