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August 30, 2001
Yesterday I had to go and have a sono. My cousin called and told me that my HCG levels did not double and my RE wanted to check the placement. So after that all I could think of was another m/c. I was scared to death. I did go and it wasn't as bad as what I thought. My levels were 3,049 on Monday and yesterday 4,917. They did see 1 pregnancy in my uterus. right where it's supposed to be. Of course they did not see a heartbeat yet. And when she was doing it I asked if that's what it's supposed to look like and she said yes. So that's good. She said it looked good. She said there may have been 2 babies and one of them did not implant or whatever and that may have been why my levels were so high at first and then did not double. I go in next Wed for another sono. She said maybe able to see a heartbeat then. If not just to measure and see if it is growing. I am really scared right now and when I got that call yesterday I just knew I was losing another one. No reruns wanted here!!!! So anyways, she said things look good so far and not to worry over it alot. But it's sooo hard. After that call I just knew it was over again but I'm not getting my hopes up too high just yet.
So we told family yesterday. Cory's family was sooo happy they were ecstatic. I told them not to get too excited yet but they are anyways. And my mom pissed me off. I guess I expected her to be excited and she didn't even believe me and she didn't even say great or congratulations or anything like that. Just said "I can't get my hopes up". Whatever. She knew that she pissed me off. Then right after I left she called my cousin to find out what was going on and she didn't know what to tell her cause she didn't think I had told her yet. So more or less she couldn't believe me and had to call her to find out what was going on. She needs to chill out and learn how to express her feelings. I mean it's not always all about her. It's about me now. She royally pissed me off but I'm trying not to let it worry me.
So besides that I just have to wait things out until next week and hopefully the sono is good and we can see a little hearbeat!
Take care and pray for us if that's your thing. If not, just cross your fingers and toes.
Jenn
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