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Cindy B's Diary Entries Diary Navigation: Choose A Diary Entry -------------------- Latest Entry: 6/8/01 -------------------- 5/24/01 5/15/01 5/8/01 4/1/01 3/17/01 2/16/01 2/4/01 1/24/01 1/19/01 1/8/01 1/2/01 12/18/00 12/12/00 12/5/00 11/28/00 11/21/00 11/13/00 11/7/00 11/4/00 10/31/00 10/24/00 10/17/00 10/10/00 10/5/00 9/28/00 9/20/00 9/9/00 9/3/00 7/30/00 -------------------- Cindy B's Introduction

October 17, 2000

I hope you all have been having a good week.

I wrote in my last entry that I would include a picture of my cat, Ditto, but I’ve been having trouble with the scanner. For some reason the picture only shows up in black and white and is really difficult to see. So, you’ll have to be patient!! My mom said that he’s doing better and he doesn’t have cancer; he has bowel-inflammatory disease and a high thyroid (like that’s much better). But the main thing is he is doing better.

I actually was going to write a relatively positive entry, because AF came just about the time I expected, but my sister called about 20 minutes ago. She’s been reading up on my diaries and she also knows that I have an appointment with an OB next Monday. She asked me how much my temperature went up when I thought I O'd. My temperature only went up for one day and went back down again. She said that I didn’t O. According to the book TCOYF (which I still don’t have yet -- I know, I need to get it!!!) you can see when you O because the BT stays up until AF comes. My sister, Lorelie, scanned a chart from the book and I have in front of me. The chart looks totally different from mine. Well, if that’s the way it’s supposed to be, that means I didn’t O this cycle or the last. In fact, I actually don’t think I ever O'd. I guess what I mistook for AF was really breakthrough bleeding. I didn’t know about this.

I also talked to my mom two days ago; she knows that we’re TTC. I asked her how easy or difficult it was for her and she said that it took two years for her to become PG with my sis but only after a round of injectables. It took another two years for her to become PG with me but at least she didn’t need any external help. She also said that when I was 6 weeks (or months, I can’t remember) I had a hormone imbalance, but I hear that that isn’t so unusual for infants. According to her, her mom, my grandma also had difficulties TTC. So this is definitely something that runs in the family. This makes me so sad, though.

My friend Anja became pregnant with her son one month after going off BCP for seven years. She keeps asking me, “So, are you pregnant?” Like it’s something I can just go find on the street. My mother-in-law, Angelika, who is one of the most awesome mother-in-laws there is, mind you, even keeps asking me how things are moving along. It was also easy for her to conceive Stefan and his brother, Martin. She doesn’t understand that it can take a while. She keeps saying, “Relax, it will happen faster than you think.” I feel like everyone is saying that. Don’t people know that there are women who don’t conceive right away? Don’t people know that there are women out there that don’t O in probably more than a year, if at all? Why do I have to be patient?? I can be as patient as I want but it won’t bring me a baby! I want people to read this to know that not every woman has a normal 28-day cycle; I don’t think I ever did. I was really hoping that this time it worked out, that my cycle was normal, but it sure isn’t.

OK, now I have that out: Stefan just came back. I told him everything and he stays so positive about everything. He is so sure that everything will work out fine, even if it means that we will have to visit an RE. We’re going to call our health insurance company and ask what is covered and if we have to be referred to an RE from my OB or if we can just schedule an appointment. Probably not. I hope this new OB understands that it won’t just happen for us if we’re a little more patient and wait a few months.

I hope I will know much more by this time next week!

Love,
Cindy