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May 24, 2001
Week 10
30 weeks to go!
Today is a national holiday, Ascension Day, and am enjoying the day off! The weather has been great, too!
You might be wondering why I was at 8 weeks last week and 10 weeks the next week. Well, I calculated the time out myself and I have to be at 10 weeks. Plus I went to another OB last week (nothing serious) and he did an u/s and the baby measured at 9 ½ weeks. That fits exactly with my calculations, too. I think my regular OB’s estimate was wrong.
So, how have I been feeling? I’m not as tired as I was before, I’ve started taking iron, calcium and magnesium supplements and have been feeling better. My nausea is more or less completely gone. This is good; I think I really lucked out. My friend who is PG had m/s so badly and all day. I just felt a little queasy all day but could keep it under control if I ate enough. Yeah!
So physically, I’m feeling good. Mentally? It’s difficult. I have told all of the family about the baby and they are excited. I didn’t want to tell too many friends about being PG until I informed my work about it first. So last Friday at 7:45 a.m. I walked into the Human Resources office (it was the first stop on the way to my office, so I just started there) and told stupid Ms. Puers about being PG. I knew when I walked in there that it is kind of an uncomfortable thing to tell; you never know how they are going to react. But a reaction like that was the last thing I expected. So I tell her and she sits back and crosses her arms and legs and says “Are you serious?” I answer with, “Uh, ya.” Then she starts, “Don’t you realize this is a very bad time for this? What were you thinking? You’ve only been here since February! Did you plan this? Why!” So I just stare at her wondering if I had started off the conversation by insulting her, saying she had cooties or something, and had to remind myself that I had really only said that I was PG. What am I supposed to say?? So I mutter an “Uh.” Then she starts again, “I’m going to have to talk to the CEO about this and see what he says.” Then she proceeds to write on a piece of scratch paper in black pen “Cindy Brehl”, then in red marker “Pregnant!” and underlined it. I mustered the following “I’d like to know what can be arranged when the time comes…” before I was done, she starts, “I would, too!“ Her look was so awful! WOW! So I turned around and started to leave and she says “Oh, congratulations anyway. Shut the door when you leave.” Good morning, Cindy! Welcome to corporate Germany!!
So I’m shaking by now when I leave. All I could do was make a stupefied face and walk slowly to the next office. I told the head of the customs department, my department, and he took it relatively well. I don’t think my nerves could have dealt with another outburst like that. I also told the director of the logistics branch (my branch) about it and she starts out “Oh that is so stupid!” then, “I mean, it is great, but really dumb! How far along are you?” A step above the first reaction, but not much better. Where are the congratulations? I tell the other colleagues about it and “Did you really want this? Kids are so expensive.” One person actually said, “Congratulations! This is great!”
I could understand this lack of enthusiasm if I was 14 years old and still in high school or just starting college. But I’m 26 years old, I’m married, I have my formal education behind me, I’m bilingual, my husband and I just bought a house! What the hell! Is everyone so uptight around here? Statistics show that the population is declining dramatically and because of it the government has passed some really good laws and benefits for women and families with children. The way most people do it is like this: both the man and the women finish their educations, (marriage is optional), work for 8-10 years and then have 1 maybe 2 children; 3 or more is considered antisocial. Then the woman stays home with the children until they are in grade school and then she goes back to work and works either part time or full time. Most women start to have children from around 28-38. Some women do have children younger but I don’t think I’ve ever seen a pregnant teenager here.
My MIL keeps calling me to see how I’m doing, which I really like, but she also keeps reminding me that I have to go back to work ASAP. She says once I’m out, I’m out of the business for good. This drives me nuts because this is a decision that only Stefan and I will make. To be honest, we’ve given out so much money for the house that I think I’ll have to go back to work part time (NOT doing full time with a baby!!), but the first year or so I’m staying home to take care of the baby. But I can’t stand my MIL telling me what we can do financially or not. She’d freak if I, God forbid, told her how she and my FIL were to handle their money. Stefan and I have saved our money very well and don’t have any debts, except the house, of course. None. We pay cash for everything. Oh, I forgot the reaction from the woman at the bank who is managing our mortgage. She says “This is nice on the personal level, but this is really bad for your career. Can you still afford the payments?” Wow! How about one from the left and one from the right!! Excuse me if I put my career next to door number 2 and a family next to door number 1. And yes, we can still make the payments and we’ll be fine. We’re not rich and don’t have exorbitant amounts of money, but we aren’t poor either.
I guess I just thought that if I did everything that you are supposed to do: get married, finish school, work and have children, that people would be happy for me. But almost everyone has managed to freak me out and make me feel like I have no right to get pregnant because it’s not what fits into their schedule (I’m thinking of work and some other people).
Honestly, Stefan and I had considered adopting children, because we really didn’t think I could get PG. I’m just so lucky that it happened at all and I want to enjoy this pregnancy, it may be my last. I hope not though! Also, another kind of sad thing, the Germans don’t have baby showers (don’t have wedding showers either). I feel like we’ll have to buy everything, I guess I always thought I would get some help from friends and family like it is in the US and probably most parts of the world. The only time we will get presents from people is probably at the baptism. I guess that’s better than nothing, but by then we will probably already have everything.
Excuse all the negativity in this entry, but this is really what has been going on this week. I just thought people would be more supportive than they are (this is excluding the family on both sides). I do have a couple of good friends who have really given me good advice, information, literature and some maternity clothes. So it’s not all bad. Plus my sister has already gone nuts about finally becoming an aunt and went out and bought some baby clothes!
So, next week I have my first official prenatal OB appointment! I’m excited! The appointment is on the 30th, so I’ll write next time right afterwards.
Take care and sending tons of baby dust ***+++***+++*** and tummy rubs over to you!
Cindy & Wonder Baby
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