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Home › Diaries › Kim's › July 7, 1999

Kim's Diary Entries

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July 7, 1999

kim

This week I've continued to be very preoccupied with getting (and being) pregnant. Because we haven't been 100% with protection this month, I keep wondering if I could already be pregnant. Except for my first pregnancy, I knew very well that I was pregnant from about conception on. I tend to have mild to heavy cramps 2-3 days after conception (implantation cramping?). I know my body very well and know this is what's going on. I did have a bit of cramping but wasn't as convinced as other times (as in the time I miscarried at 5 weeks between my first and second children). I keep thinking it's just my being so excited about the idea of trying for number 4 and I'm getting ahead of myself.

I do have a tendency to go a bit overboard with pregnancy and childbirth stuff. I bought two books this week on midwifery. My hospital doesn't have midwives anymore but I would love to have one if it made sense for me. Our hospital is 45 minutes to an hour from us (worth the trip for excellent care!). I am interested in midwifery or doulas for my future too, though. I am thinking of going into some career having to do with pregnancy and birth. I have been exploring books and ideas for the past few months.

I keep thinking about the fact that we only have one more period to wait for (should be here about July 19th - I have a long and not exact cycle). Then we can just let nature takes it's course. I haven't had any problems getting pregnant any other time but I still wonder if this will be the time it takes awhile. Not just the first try. I will be 35 in October and wonder if my weight and age will start affecting my fertility. I also think about friends and others that have a hard time getting pregnant. All the things they do to have a baby just amazes me. I don't want to hurt them by being too caulky about getting pregnant easily.

I told my sister and my friends, the maymoms (email group who were all due May 1996), this week about definitely trying for #4. My sister was not too thrilled but she is one of my best friends and will support me nevertheless. The maymoms, too, have been concerned and have let me know of some things to think about before having another. John and I have taken these pearls of womanly and motherly and friendly wisdom to heart and continue to talk a lot about this whole trip were are about to start. Now that it's July, and August is just next month, my thoughts are on how long will it take to get pregnant, how will I tell my mom (not too keen on us having more kids), will I have bad morning sickness as I have before, what new symptoms will I get this time around, and will it be a boy or a girl? So many things are going through my head that it's hard to sleep some nights. I am trying to just take small steps and calm down a bit. Next spring is a long way off.

Take care one and all,
Kim

The better part of one's life consists of his (or her) friendships.
-Abraham Lincoln-



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