It turns out that the doctor in Newcastle who has been asked to do the fasting insulin is also on vacation, but my doctor's office had already been in touch with his office about it. It is August in Europe and I can handle vacation delays. Everyone needs to get away from work.

BUT..............there was no T3 and T4 results at all -- just an NA and another TSH (which was NOT ordered) result. My doctor's secretary was confused by this and said she would call the lab to see what was happening. It turns out that the lab technician, in his or her infinite wisdom, ran the TSH and when it was normal decided that T3 and T4 were not necessary. They then threw away my blood sample. The fact that my doctor had ordered the T3 and T4 knowing that my TSH was normal seems to have been lost on this lab which seems to think that they know more than my doctor, who admits that T3 and T4 can sometimes, although very rarely, be abnormal even when TSH is normal. This is why testing all three is part of the NHS freaking guidelines for infertility work ups.

Plus, since my doctor is on vacation until next month, I have to go back to my GP to get the next cd21 prog and try to get these stupid tests done again! They are supposed to be part of the basic workup and I have been pursuing infertility treatments since March!!! My GP refused to do them then because my TSH was normal. My gyn said this was par for the course since GPs are really only supposed to be responsible for the basics and then consultants for the rest. Hence, he, as the consultant, thought ordering the tests was a good idea. The lab did admit that normally when a consultant orders a test they do it no matter what, but this time they took things into their own hands.

My brother (med student) says I shouldn't second guess doctors so much, but what can they expect us to do when stuff like this happens? How are we supposed to trust that, even if they know what they are talking about, that we will get even adequate care? What I do know now is that Jon and I have lost all faith that we will ever get pg in the UK. I can't tell you how much I wish this year were over and we were back in the land of private health care. There are many bad things about managed care, but at least the lab technicians don't second guess the doctors.

As for this cycle, my ovaries are already aching which I am taking as a bad sign. I can't see how an unhappy achy ovary can produce a happy egg. I am not temping and am planning to do an HPT around Sept 20, which I expect to be negative. But who knows, maybe all I need is a little synthroid. Wouldn't it be nice to find out, even if it just to rule out the possibility?

There are so many good NHS hospitals, why, oh, why did we end up here? I'm so sick of feeling like the world doesn't care about me or my problems. And I suppose it doesn't help that today is my grandfather's memorial service. I didn't go because I thought maybe the Clomid would work this time.

I am really not as depressed as this probably sounds -- just so angry I could probably spit across the Atlantic.

Kim