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Kate's Diary Entries Diary Navigation: Choose A Diary Entry -------------------- Latest Entry: 5/3/00 -------------------- 4/24/00 4/17/00 4/10/00 4/3/00 -------------------- Kate's Introduction

April 24, 2000

Hello, everyone. Well, we are back to CD #6. AF came late — on day #30 and was short and not very heavy. This weekend, Easter, I had a chance to see my mother-in-law. She does not know, but guesses that we are TTC (she knows about the miscarriage) and she asked me whether my cycles had ever straightened themselves out. I think that was her indirect way of asking about TTC. I told her that I was pretty much OK, but that this last period had been short and light, which was unusual for me. She suggested that I might be going through an early menopause and encouraged me to see my doctor! I guess that she started going through menopause around the age of 40 and so that is her point of reference, but — really! I had a fit after talking with her, and my DH really had to calm me down. The last thing I need to worry about right now is menopause.

I think I am so sensitive about the age issues because, when I miscarried, my OB really emphasized how tough it can be for "older" women to get pregnant and carry pregnancies through. I generally like this doctor a lot, but I don’t like worrying about my age so much. Should I change doctors? Maybe.

Stress could be causing this recent wacky period. Remember the job interview I told you about? Well, it went extremely well. I liked the place and the people, but the job is enormous. It would entail setting up an office, then hiring and managing a staff of ten people, creating a marketing plan, and recruiting new clients. The commute would be forty-five minutes (my commute is now five minutes) and it would mean a lot more time at work.

James, my little boy, would be in day care for about two more hours a day if I were to go to this new place. So, after interviewing, I called the people I’d interviewed with back and told them that I was going to pull out of the running. They responded by offering me the job and saying that they would accommodate whatever I needed in terms of my personal life. The salary is very high. All of that was flattering and unusual, but, even though they said that they would accommodate my life, hiring and managing ten new people and setting up an office is no small feat. Knowing myself, it would stress me out and distract me from my life with Jim and James and from my ventures in TTC. I persisted in saying no.

Many of my friends and colleagues think that I am crazy to turn it down (the salary is double what I am now making), but the potential baby is another consideration. What if I took the job and got pregnant two weeks later? I would feel obligated to take a short maternity leave; whereas, if I got pregnant and were working where I am now, I would have no qualms about asking for six months or more off, and a part time schedule when I returned. Also, all of my friends who have two children and work are letting their careers take a back seat. It can be very hard to manage unless you have full time nannies and, having been through that once, it’s not for me. I now feel a little badly about even getting into the interviewing process, but I was curious and have really hit a wall with my current employer. Nowhere for me to go here.

I forgot my thermometer when we went away for Easter and am just beginning to take my temps again. I am probably still a few days away from EWCM and even farther away from O’ing.

Anyway, thanks for listening and I hope many of you are seeing +++++s on your HPTs this week.

Cheers!