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February 5, 2001
Happy Monday to all! Just wanted to say thank you to the many people who wrote to me this past week regarding my weight issues. It’s comforting to know that not only am not the only one going through this, but that there is light at the end of the tunnel. A note to anyone who writes on my TTM board: I’m sorry if I can’t respond to you in a timely manner! I work 12-hour shifts and when I am on a stretch of days at work, I don’t even have time to look at the board. It may take awhile to get back to you, but rest assured, I’m really grateful for all the messages I receive!
The whole weight battle has been really tough. I’m currently 29 years old. When I was about 20, I discovered the beauty of exercise! I had always been the “chubby kid” and always had extra weight on. I also never realized that some people are normally “heavier” even though they are thin. When I am in the best shape and working out regularly and a size 10/12 (which is where I am most comfortable) I am 170 lbs! Anyway… I developed a medical condition when I was about 23 that made it difficult for me to exercise. Well, like any habit, if you don’t keep up with it, you fall out of the habit. Such was the case with me. After awhile, I no longer had that drive to exercise. I no longer felt the endorphins that kept me going and enticed me to keep up with it. Slowly, but ever so surely, the weight crept up on me. Here I am today, in disbelief.
I actually AM getting to a point here! In the past few years, I really have tried to begin some sort of exercise regimen again. I have one major problem that has been hindering me – I have been getting HORRID headaches after I exercise. Even with very low impact activities such as walking. These headaches don’t come on while I’m exercising, they come on hours later. They start off light but then get worse and worse until I am miserable. I have tried EVERYTHING to prevent them. I talked to my doctor but didn’t find out much. It makes exercising a terrible thing to look forward to and after a few days, I quit again. I’ve tried everything… I stay very well-hydrated, made sure I’ve eaten well, etc. WELL… after getting nowhere with this, I decided to do a little research of my own…
After dinking around on the internet, I discovered that there has actually been a whole lot of research done on the issue of exercise-related headaches! To think all this time I thought I was crazy. I really thought that maybe my mind was making up these headaches as an excuse to not exercise because I was lazy. I figured that since I used to be really active and in shape and never got these before, I must just be lazy. It’s crazy because I REALLY want to get in shape again, but believe me, if you experienced these headaches, you’d never want to exercise again. Anyway, I’ve got to research more about prevention/treatment. They seem to talk a lot about NSAIDs and other medications but I’m leery to take them since I’m no longer on birth control. You can bet that you will probably see more on this issue from me in the future! I plan to be doing a lot of research where that is concerned.
OK… on to this week’s stats: TTC#1, C#3 (STILL), CD#52! ARGH. This has been my longest cycle yet. I started spotting yesterday which usually means that AF would be in full swing by this morning. No such luck. No cramps, no nothing. The spotting even seems to have decreased this morning instead of turning into AF. I’m not giving up hope though. The day is young… it’s only 6:30am as I write this entry. I just want to get my old body back. Sheesh… never thought I’d EVER hear myself actually say that! I’m actually really excited to have found that info about headaches. I feel like it’s a step in the right direction. I SO want to be active again. I really do.
Work has been VERY challenging for me this past week. It seems as though our hospital is busting at the seams – as are all the other hospitals in my area. We can't find beds to save our lives. For at least three shifts this past week, I’ve left about an hour late just because I needed to stay late and document. It’s crazy. Yesterday, I had a patient who was so sick that I didn’t leave his bedside for three hours. I transferred him up to our intensive care unit and before we even got him out of our bed and into the ICU bed, he was intubated and on a ventilator. After that, my day was very quiet, but it’s quite an adrenaline rush to keep someone alive and breathing who is that acutely ill.
This week I’m really grateful for life. I work with a nursing assistant who is from Bosnia. I had a chance to sit down and get to know her a bit better this past week. She grew up in Bosnia and lived there during the height of the war. It was amazing to listen to her stories. It made me so thankful to live in a country where I never need to worry about whether or not I’ll be alive in the morning because of war. It made me realize that in every way, I’m really living the “American Dream” – I’ve got a home, a great husband, and wonderful job, a happy marriage. I’m not hungry, I’m not cold, I’m pretty healthy. Heck, for that matter, I’ve got hot water and a toilet 24 hours a day. When I think about my “problems”, I feel spoiled and whiny. There are many people who would give anything to trade places with me. I’ve really got to work on keeping an “attitude of gratitude”.
Well… this has been a long entry! This coming week promises to be busier than the last! So much to do. Hopefully I’ll be able to report that AF has come and gone and I’ll finally be on to cycle 4! I look forward to writing an update next week!
Lots of baby dust to all!
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