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Home › Diaries › Chris F's › October 10, 2000

Chris F's Diary Entries

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October 10, 2000

C1 CD 17

Well, I thought I knew my body better than this ... I don't know if I O'd or not. I had EWCM on Saturday, and then my temp went up on Monday, but OPKs and the fertility monitor both never registered the LH ... so either my urine was too diluted when I tested or now I need to get three high temps in a row and I will believe I O'd. If not, then I am doing what I did last cycle. That is, I started to O, then didn't, to O two weeks later, giving me a 46 day cycle. I just think I am dwelling so much on getting pregnant that I am hormonally a mess. DH even suggested I wait another year. How dare he, LOL. When he said that I started crying and then he said OK, OK, we can do it now. I think he's afraid of making me cry, because he instantly tries to be supportive when I do. It's really sweet.

Oct.15 is pregnancy and infant loss day, and so light a candle to remember all of the babies lost this year. I think everyone is supposed to light them at 7 p.m. The hospital that Abby spent her first week of life in is having a memorial services in their chapel for all of the babies that died this year. I instantly wanted to go and told my DH about it, and I was surprised when he said he wanted to go too. When I told my mom about it, she also wanted to go. I really was surprised that they do, because most people don't want to talk about her, or even mention her name, which I find really sad. When I do bring her up, people tend to shy away from the subject, I know it makes people uncomfortable and so I do my best to try not to. Since so many of my friends just had babies or are pregnant, I find them not calling and not emailing me. I am sure it's because they don't know what to say, and I know I am a reminder of all that can go wrong, but I have four healthy kids and know that so much can go right too.

Well, this year is sure slipping by fast. It's starting to get dark earlier and rain more. I just can't believe the holidays are just around the corner. It's exciting and gives me something to look forward to ...

I wish you all a great week. Hope you all see ++++++++

Chris



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