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Jayme's Diary Entries Diary Navigation: Choose A Diary Entry -------------------- Latest Entry: 10/6/00 -------------------- 9/13/00 9/4/00 8/30/00 8/21/00 8/9/00 7/29/00 7/25/00 7/21/00 7/20/00 7/18/00 7/3/00 6/29/00 6/23/00 6/20/00 6/13/00 6/12/00 6/6/00 5/26/00 5/23/00 5/22/00 5/17/00 5/15/00 5/13/00 5/13/00 5/11/00 5/6/00 4/29/00 4/22/00 4/21/00 4/4/00 3/29/00 3/13/00 3/11/00 3/2/00 1/8/00 -------------------- Jayme's Introduction

May 22, 2000

By the time y'all read this, I'll probably be going through all the sucky side effects of AF. However, I am on CD#31. I have been feeling crampy (sort of) for the past week. Nothing as of yet... I really couldn't wait a day longer and I took a PG test. OF COURSE! It was -!

But! Here is the story behind that... My DH bought me a test and then left with friends to play pool. I had to wait until I had to go to the bathroom... if you know what I mean. My impatient little friend would not shut up about taking the test and told me to get up and drink lots and lots of water. This I did and thought I had to use the bathroom; so, as my friend continually squealed with excitement into my ear, I began my job.

Unfortunately, you are supposed to pee on the stick for at least five whole seconds; I only got enough out for a little tinkle that lasted a split-second. The control window did get a little line; but, the other one had nothing. I am going to test again in a few days if AF does not show up. I never go over CD#29. And that is even rare.

So, I have an appointment on the 25th with my GYN. I scheduled it to be right after my AF; but even if it started right now, I wouldn't finish in time. I am going to ask her to put me on Clomid. I have been charting and actively trying for nine months now; but I have not been preventing for 13 months. I think that qualifies as being considered officially infertile.

Believe it or not, that word does not really upset me. Now I know that I can have medical assistance and something could possibly be done. I told y'all in my last entry that I am declaring a war on infertility. I WILL be PG by the end of summer. Or I am going to be very, very angry! I can't help to think all the time that maybe it is not meant for me to be PG. Maybe I will never have my own children. I can't picture myself PG and feel that it will never ever happen. Is there anyone out there who felt with all their heart that they would never have children with their husband and they actually did get PG? I hope that that is just another thing that women who are TTC think about and not that I have this sixth sense and it will come true. Please Lord, don't let me be psychic even if that means to think so negatively about getting PG means I am psycho.

Well, Ian and I painted our living room and pretty light violet color this weekend. We threw in some matching pillows and a cool rug and voila, a brand new living room. I love it! I'll have to tell y'all the long story about that later. It is soooo funny! What would I do without my quirky little husband? He He.

I truly hope and pray that I will have good news for y'all on my next post. I don't want to get my hopes up though. We'll see. Keep y'all’s fingers crossed for Ian and me. Keep us in your prayers. If not for this time; then next time. Thanx!