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October 15, 2003
Hello everyone from 15 dpo 2 bfn and temps still up land. Yes, that's right. Temps were plummeting as they should have been when AF was due. But surprise surprise, they jumped back up and have stayed high since then. So I was feeling very hopeful! I took one test on Sunday, bfn but that's when my temps were going down. I'm sure you all know why I took the test. There was always that hope that there could be 2 lines! But there wasn't and I was a little bummed but waited on AF to show. I was ready to start the next cycle. But the next day my temps took a jump up, and I was surprised! And they have been up ever since. But I took another hpt this morning and it was still a bfn. :( I'm having a harder time with this bfn than the last one. I expected the bfn last time but this time...it's hard on me. I'm still kind of hoping that temps will keep staying up and I'll get a really late bfp like my friend Jill did. I guess we'll have to see. I plan on testing again this weekend maybe. Depends on if AF decides to grace me with her presence.
I'm trying to not let this get me down so much but it's hard. Especially with the job I have. Sometimes I feel like I eat, breath, work, and sleep infertility. I've even had heart wrenching dreams of finally being able to have a baby, only to have the nurses at the hospital take it away as we go to leave because for some reason I'm not allowed to keep the baby. I feel like I'm mourning the loss of something I never had, and it's hard to move on because it was never there.
On a happier note, Jeff and I went to the Smithsonian this weekend. We went to the air and space museum and it was awesome to see all the famous airplanes, etc. Jeff taught me all about engines, and I was able to explain some planetary things to him. We were only able to stay a few hours and I forgot my camera (!) so we plan on going back. Besides, we need to go to the natural history museum. I used to love the natural history museum in Denver as a kid and Utah really doesn't have a nice big museum so I'm looking forward to seeing a big museum again! When I was little, my Girl Scout troop spent the night in the natural history museum in Denver with a bunch of other girl scouts. We slept in the prairie room and I remember the floor being really hard and the alarm going off a lot. But it was a blast and my last time in that museum. So hopefully this one will be just as cool.
We also went to our church's pie social, which was a lot of fun as well. We ate pie, talked, and Jeff and I taught a few country line dances. The kids loved being able to jump and kick around, and a lot of the parents got into it too!
On Monday I saw a raccoon at the Metro station! I was waiting for Jeff in the Kiss and Ride lane and a raccoon just walked up to the trash can, jumped in, and came out with some sort of food. He just walked away into the darkness and came out again a few minutes later. I never would have thought there would be a raccoon in the city!
It was raining here so hard last night. I just can’t get over how much water falls from the sky here! Being from the desert, I’m not used to how much rain and different types of rain there can be. As I was waiting for Jeff at the Metro, it was raining so hard it was rocking the car. That is amazing to me!
Work is going really well. I think I've finally learned most of what I need to do and I can book appointments with the best of them. :) I'm also getting along with the other girls here, and we occasionally have pizza or bagels or something. It's a fun job and I'm glad I have it.
Jeff had a 4-hour interview with the company he wants to work for on Monday. He talked to 7 or 8 different people and is fairly confident he'll get the job. Hopefully we'll know by Friday, but by next Friday at the latest. All good thoughts and prayers are welcome! :)
Jeff and I want to go check out the leaves since we've always heard about the fabulous color the east has. Anybody have any ideas where we could go? The girls at work suggested Skyline Drive...does anyone have any suggestions with that place? Or any other place?
Also another question for Virginians. Especially those that ride horses. I'm looking into starting my lessons again and I would love a good recommendation for a nice hunter barn. I'm not too interested in showing but I would love to better my skills at it. Any suggestions?
I just want to wish Shari good luck on testing this weekend! It seems we might be testing buddies again Shari! :) And a big hello to AmyM who I'm sure has had her baby.
Good luck to everyone and I'll be sure to post updates if I test earlier or AF comes. Just check my ttm board.
Oh! Side note: It was Columbus Day on Monday and they lifted the HOV restrictions for that day so I drove in them both too and from work. I felt so liberated! I wanted to roll down my window and shout “I’m in the HOV lane with only ME in the car! Take that traffic!”
~Always, Cat
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