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January 7, 2004

1/9- Trying to Relax

Hope everyone had a great New Year's, and that it was safe for everyone. Jeff and I chaperoned the youth dance for our church that night and reminisced about how we met. It was fun but I was tired by about 10:30 and ready to go home. I'm sure all the youth had a great time as there was lots of laughing and dancing.

I had a nice 4 day weekend that weekend and we went to see Lord of the Rings on New Year's Day. That's a great movie but I think I still like the first one best. Maybe because I know it the best. The movie stopped about 10 minuets into the show and they had to fix the projector. BUT, they gave us free refills on our concessions and free movie tickets at the end! Bonus! We'll probably go see Big Fish this weekend. Has anyone heard anything about that one?

Then on our day off the next day we went to Mt. Vernon and took the mansion tour to see the 3rd floor that they only open during the Christmas season. It was interesting but a little cramped and hot. No wonder the house has huge windows at the top that can be opened to let some of the heat out. I can’t imagine the heat and humidity with only those open windows for relief! In any case, we also stopped by George Washington’s Tomb to pay our respects and ate lunch at the inn there. I really enjoy it there because it seems so peaceful. I’ll be sad to move away from it.

I am glad I wasn't around my family over the holidays because a few of my newly married cousins are pregnant. I'm happy for them, but just so frustrated at my own body that I don't know if I could have handled being around them with everyone talking about baby stuff. Do you ever feel like it's some sort of club that women join and you're not wanted? That's how I feel sometimes. I had a little break down when I heard that one more cousin was pregnant. It got to the point where I just didn't want to have any kids any more. I am so tired of waiting for this to happen. And I feel like nothing I do will speed it along. I soon got over not wanting any kids at all a few days later but I'm still a little frustrated that ttc is taking so long.

I went to my gyn appointment yesterday armed to ask questions about this and see if they can do anything for me before I start going to see an RE. Also, it was time for my annual. But when he heard where I worked, he said that that was the best place he could send me and doesn't like to treat infertility at his clinic. He's not set up for it. I appreciated his honesty. He did write up a script for Jeff to have an SA, and Jeff's up for it so hopefully he'll have that done in a few days. One thing that bothered me about my new gyn was I felt he made a big deal of the fact that I'm still very young and have a lot of chances to have kids. Yes, I am young but why is it that that fact seem to make everyone think that there isn't a problem? Obviously if I'm not pregnant after almost 2 years of trying, there's something wrong. In any case, his best advise to me was to relax. Haha. I'm really trying to relax and not worry about it so much but it is very hard. Anyone have any suggestions?

This weather out here has been so strange!! Sunday it was so warm that we had to turn our air conditioner on just to cool off the apartment! It was near 80 degrees. And then 2 days later we're having below 0 temps outside and huddling up in our blankets with the heat on. Odd!

~Always, Cat