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Candace W's Diary Entries Diary Navigation: Choose A Diary Entry -------------------- Latest Entry: 4/17/02 -------------------- 4/14/02 4/11/02 4/7/02 4/5/02 4/1/02 3/30/02 3/19/02 3/5/02 2/25/02 2/21/02 2/18/02 2/5/02 1/27/02 1/6/02 12/3/01 11/21/01 11/15/01 11/6/01 10/23/01 10/16/01 7/10/01 6/11/01 6/3/01 2/18/01 2/4/01 1/24/01 1/15/01 1/8/01 1/1/01 12/18/00 11/28/00 11/21/00 11/13/00 11/6/00 10/30/00 10/23/00 10/16/00 10/10/00 10/4/00 9/25/00 9/20/00 -------------------- Candace W's Introduction

December 18, 2000

I'm sorry I haven't posted an entry in two weeks, but I actually wanted to have something to say the next time that I wrote. I went to a holiday party. I studied. I took finals. I survived the "big" blizzard we had here. (What a joke.) And that's about all.

The holiday party was interesting. We did a Chinese gift exchange. Al wound up getting stuck with a vibrator. Yes, he picked a 10-inch long, neon green, glow-in-the-dark vibrator. The guy who bought it told us to appreciate it, since it cost more than the required $10. Great. I'll try not to let it collect too much dust. I had a great number, so I wound up with one of those solar powered/hand crank radios. It works pretty well, except I'm supposed to charge up the internal batteries with the supplied a/c adapter which a friend of mine still has. I stole it from the guy who gave the vibrator (sweet revenge, he didn't want to give it up) and he had taken it out of the box, so when I nabbed it, the adapter got left behind.

We had some snow here. Not a big deal to a former Chicago resident, but down here, everything shut down. It was insanity. It was only three or four inches, and everyone was messing themselves. The really crummy part was that I was supposed to have Alexandria's 1-year birthday party that day (which was Wednesday). I wanted to have it before all my college friends left for home. I stayed up till like 2:30 a.m. decorating and baking. We bought all kinds of food late the night before, so it would be fresh, and this. I wanted to cry, but I'm not the crying type. I decorated the Christmas tree (phony little 4-footer), I bought balloons, etc. The whole nine yards. I cleaned the house! Everything was supposed to be perfect, and it went straight to hell. We bought all kinds of fruit, veggies and dips, a little meat tray. I invited five people. Out of those five, only one called me to tell me she wasn't going to come. I mean, I pretty much suspected that no one would come, but would it have been so hard to have given me a f*cking phone call? I was really hurt that no one cared. Here we were, sitting in this festive house, decorations all over, by ourselves.

I knew that being married to someone so much older than I lent itself to not having friends, but I guess I never really believed that. Now I do. We're just too different from everyone. We don't fit in anywhere. I don't fit in with people my own age; I'm married, I have a baby. I don't fit in with other mothers; I'm a student, I'm too young. I don't fit in with senior citizens; I'm not ancient. Ha, ha. I don't fit in with other college students; I'm not interested in getting drunk or partying. Anyway, this is the path I chose.

Reschedule? Ha! I don't want to waste the money, and I honestly don't care to try again. It wasn't meant to be. Just as we were walking out the door to go to the mall and pick up presents for everyone (another sore spot for me) the phone rang. I let the machine get it, and one of the kids who was supposed to come to the party (we'll call her Nicole) was calling. I didn't bother to pick it up, just told Al to get going. When we got back I listened to it. Oh, I tried to call so many times! (Not the day of the party, since I made sure the phone line was open.) Are you rescheduling? (Not a chance in hell.) I have a gift for Alexandria. (Shove it, I don't want to feel like I owe you something.) Give me a call back. (Already tried, I talked to your answering machine again).

Anyway, Nicole is one of these privileged types: Mommy and daddy bought her a new car (this is her third new one since she turned 16), she lives at home, they pay off her credit cards every month, and she always has to be doing something, socialite type. She's never sitting at home, and I don't know why she tells me to call back, without specifying a time. I mean, she's not gonna be there, so what's the point? I am not really sure why we became friends. We're really not the same type of person at all. I'm more Everyman (or woman as the case may be) and she is certainly not.

Well, I am going to stop there before I really get off on this topic. Suffice to say, I was hurt and disappointed that Alexandria's party wasn't one after all.

Candace