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December 3, 2001
TTC #2 C(-2 and counting!) CD1
AF arrived today, right on schedule. I am starting to see a pattern in my cycles, which is rather reassuring. I am irate that this knowledge was denied to me earlier, due to ignorance. No one ever told me what my body was doing, and the thought that I could even be able to determine ovulation was a totally foreign concept to me. In the future, I will be sure to share this knowledge with all female children I should be blessed to have (including the little one I am lucky to have now!). Anyway, this is my rant for the day. I thought myself reasonably educated, but no one ever mentioned anything like this. Before you all think I have gone off of the deep end, I will assure you that Toni Weschler has not contacted me, nor paid me to obtain photos of my CM.
We are getting ready for the end of the semester. It doesn’t matter much to me. I am almost done with this semester. I wish I had been able to pull through a little better, but I will (hopefully) make up for it next semester. I also need to work up the nerve to tell my research advisor that research is not my cup of tea, and I am no longer going to be in the Ph.D. program. I realized that I never really wanted to get the doctorate, and that I had to work to convince myself that I wanted. Or maybe I do really want it, but not at this point in my life. I may return to it when I am 35 or so, but right now I want a family. And doctorates and families do not mix. At least, not when you’re the one studying for them. If you’re the spouse, it may be a different story.
I am trying (desperately) to figure out what sort of schedule I need, but I am running into roadblocks everywhere. I am going to switch to a master’s degree in teaching (of chemistry) but all of the classes I need to take are saying I need to be admitted to the master’s program. Great. I need to do something (and fast!) because I need to be enrolled in these classes as of about 3 weeks ago. I wonder if all the spaces are filled up…anyway, I need to stop worrying and just start enrolling. Which is exactly what I am going to do tomorrow. I also need to talk to someone who can listen and actually advise me. The advisor of this program hasn’t bothered to respond to me (no doubt too busy). Oh, well. I love being a student!
Hope everyone is well, and someone out there is pregnant (Laura?). Good luck!
Candace
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