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Home › Diaries › Becky's › November 17, 1999

Becky's Diary Entries

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November 17, 1999

Well, AF arrived right on schedule, finally making me believe what four PG tests hadn't -- I'm not PG. I'm starting to just get so depressed. Everyone keeps saying that I'm trying too hard -- I'd really like to tell them where to go, but I don't (I just think it). I'm trying so hard to look at the big picture but it's hard. I should really stop and count my blessings. I have so much in my life. My life is really comfortable and there is always food in the cupboard, I feel selfish complaining but I just feel so sad. If I'm to learn a lesson in all of this, it's patience. I have many virtues (?????) but patience isn't one of them. It certainly isn't bringing my DH and I any closer -- he has no understanding whatsoever of what I'm going through and further more, he doesn't even try. I just left the last negative test in the bathroom, and he didn't even say anything. How come all these women who don't even want to have a baby fall PG so easily? It's just not fair (I can now hear my mother saying, 'Life's not fair dear, you should know that by now'!) Well tomorrow is another day and I know it will be a better one, I'd like to say it sure couldn't be any worse than today but I know it could so I'll shut up. I'm sorry to be so depressing but I just don't have it in me to be cheerful.

Good luck to everyone waiting and trying.

Keep Smiling - one of us has to be.

Becky



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