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November 2, 2003
Oh my goodness. I don't have a lot of time to write lots as my son is waiting for reading/cuddle time but let me a tella you, I had some very shocking news last Thursday. Went the 3 hour drive to see my old Gyn for the annual female exam. Go figure that after taking the day off to go see him that AF shows up early. I didn't think they could do the PAP during AF but they did. Well my Ob/Gyn is the greatest and he happens to be a RE too. He was there for me with my last m/c and dx. me with fibroids last year. I really wanted to see him b/c I think he is a great clinician. Well the shocker, I just found out that I have endometriosis. DAMN that estrogen. Yup, said he saw it on my cervix and when it is there, it is usually in other places. COuld it be why I have so my O pain for so long? Well, he looks at my chart and says that we should help things along and prescribes my clomid. WHAT? and for those of you already taking Clomid you start in on Day 3. Needless to say that wasn't much time to think about everything (and you all know how my marriage is a roller coaster). Good old doc says that we will try Clomid for three months and if no luck it is surgery for the endometriosis. I am just floored. I gave my DH all the information and he we had a very very long talk. More on that later, AND what my dear pregnant sister said and my auntie (who is more of a mother than my own mother is to me) had to say about all this. Boy did I feel so lonely and so sad. So the question now is, How bad do I want a baby? I walked about the mall touching baby clothes and feeling so happy about wanting a baby. Yeah the answer to that question is "BAD". Oh how I wish things could be easier. Fortunately I am reading some 'Women of Faith' novels (fiction) and I am finding it all so helpful. I love these books b/c it reminds me how I can apply my faith and scripture into these events of my life. I am learing to pray for understanding in all this.
On a lighter note my DH and I went to church. This is only the 2nd time he has gone we me (we went to a younger more contemporary style church). He said he really liked it. OH let me tell you about the music. It was so beautiful. I am so happy to say that this weekend was great and that my family (my DH, my son, and I) all had a great time. WOW that is so amazing to say that b/c we have had rough rough times.
OK time to go.....
I would like to send congrats to the other precon writers. I am so happy for the women who have conceived . Amazing how I can feel so close to people I have never met and so happy for them. Joy shared is joy doubled.
nite y'all
Miss Annie
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