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September 22, 2003
Oh my, another week has gone by. Well if any of you read my posts on the Talk To Me Board you would know of my OPK drama.
Gosh I am so steaming mad but that is what I get for not doing my homework and being a cheapskate with OPKs. Currently my DH are away from each b/c of our work. The plan was to have a mid week rendevous for some BD (only in 2003 and while TTC do you tell the whole world when you are going to have S&x). Well he got busy and ran late and didn't know if he would be able to keep our TTC date. I told him not to worry about our date b/c the Target brand OPK was negative. Later that night I noticed EWCM. I really only notice my EW when I have to use the potty (TMI but true). So I was freaking out thinking what happened, am I Oing or not? I got online and read that some OPK are not as sensitive as others. It was an online article on Consumer Reports. OH my, so I run out to the local drug store and fork over the 27 bucks for the 7 test and sure enough I get a positive on the CLEAR BLUE test kit. OH my, now DH is confused wondering, is there still time to BD the following day? I guess but really I didn't know the answer. Who knows when conception takes place? I suddenly felt so dissapointed that we may had missed our magical moment (AGAIN). It always seems as something comes up and we can't BD. Well we kept the date the next day and then the following day I had lots of O pain so go figure when O really happened. I would think that O would be day 14 which would be great for us but since I have been spotting before AF and I am talking bright red...I really don't know when I O'd. Unfortunately DH got some bad news and he was all bummed out. I was so mad b/c I told him to not do what he did and the mistake is now costing him 2,500 dollars and all of his energy. So this is the second dramatic event in our week (OK so maybe I am a drama queen and OPKs are really small stuff in the grand scheme of life) but a 2,500 mistake? HOLY SMOKE!! That is the price of a lovers week in Hawaii or a brand new nursery, or few trips to the day spa...you get the picture. So now is he is bummed and I am mad about the mistake and I know he wants me to be supportive but it is so hard to when you are so mad. Come to find out that DH didn't have all the funds for this. He doesn't really think that this matter should effect me. OH REALLY???? I have to get all of this bad energy out so thank you for letting me vent. Needless to say there wasn't lots of BD going on.
So the last dramatic event involved some news that I got that a good friend was planning to get married to someone they hardly knew. I know that they want me to be happy for them but I also know it is a big mistake because they hardly know each other and I know that one of them is still in love with their ex. I guess I will just have to wish them well.
Thanks to all that post. It is so nice to share my TTC plight with others who understand. I really can't tell others (family and friends) b/c they always have something to say and YOU all know that most people can't understand the heartaches of TTC unless you are there.
Just yesterday I went to the Toy Store and walked through the baby section (for my sister's gift) and I felt those pangs of emptyness in heart. Sometimes TTC can be maddening, like you are losing your mind over small stuff like a false negative OPK.
OK time to run and get back to my work.
Annie
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