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August 17, 2003
OH MY GOODNESS....time for the 20 year H.S. reunion. Well actually mine came and went last week (along with my AF). A 20 year H.S. reunion is one of the few adult developmental milestones we have and for a person TTC is even has extra significance.
My DH and I went to the same H.S. but we didn't know each other then. In H.S. my DH and I were in different circles and we were both a little anxious about the big day. Of course we found out about our reunion on Classmates.com, so we had an idea who was going to show up from the RSVP but we did not know what to expect. One thing I have learned from my DH is that he really stresses out easily and he had a lot of anxiety about getting ready for the big night. We both waited around until the last minute to get outfits for the occassion (b/c we don't go out often we really didn't have going out clothes and we both had gained a few pound in the past couple of years). Of course when you wait around to the last minute to get something you can never find what you are looking for only added to the anxiety!! I just remember that I thought I was going to pregnant at this event and wondered what kind of cute maternity outfit would I wear. That wasn't the case this time.
Long story short we had a good time b/c we went with another couple that we both knew from H.S. They were H.S. sweethearts and are one of the nicest couples we know. I am so glad we went with them b/c I really didn't recognize many people at the reunion and being with them made it all the more fun. We even went dancing afterwards and my DH doesn't like to dance so that was a special treat. Now 20 years later....well some people looked younger that their age and a few looked really much older. Of course my DH and I were trying to figure out which group we were in. I am glad we went but I also felt that that reunion took me back to some of those ackward and painful moments of H.S. (popularity contest, affluence, athleticism, and the dreaded ever racism that occured at my H.S.) I was surprised to see a few pregnant classmates and pregnant (and much younger) spouses. One gal looked so darn cute in her little black maternity evening mini skirt/dress & I was sure to tell her that she looked great but I think she alrealy knew it. Since A.F. started that day, like she does at ever major event in my life (argh) I did allow myself a margarita or two or three. Needless to say it is much harder to recover from a hangover when you are older. I surely won't be doing that for awhile especially while TTC.
As a women of ADVANCED MATERNAL AGE I really have had spent alot of time thinking about having another child. Funny to think that 20 years of my reproductive years have gone by. Where did they go? Wasn't it only 17 years ago that I was doing ever thing I could not to get pregnant? It makes me sad knowing that in a few years that my fertile years will be gone forever. I wonder if I will have another baby. Sometimes I feel so tired, so rushed, so overwhelmed with life that I wonder if I should even have another child but I also know that I will have to re-prioritize and give up a few things. I also realize it is now time to make that appointment with R.E. b/c it has been almost a full year of TTC with results.
I know of a R.E. new to town (a co-workers hubby). I guess it time for my reality check and time to get busy before that window of opportunity is gone forever.
Until then,
Annie
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