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January 21, 2004
Ok, you will not believe what happened to me today. I think it was 10 minutes that I forgot about TTC. Isn't that amazing? I mean I was conscience about this (spelling??) It just seems that TTC does cross my mind alot but to actually acknowledge that time past without me thinking about it? That is a sign of OCD about TTC.
Well I hate winter. It is too cold for me. I think snow is pretty and like to drive to the mountains to see it every now and then but I have no desire to ski, snowboard,etc. I hate being cold and I think that when I am really old I will suffer with arthritis b/c my hands already feel so still when it is cold. What SUCKS also it that I have a cold. I guess I should complain b/c usually I get sicker more often in the Winter. Usually this happens when I work in pediatrics. I love working with kids but a hazard of the job is the germ factor.
I guess I have to share a little story with you which only a TTCer could appreciate (and friend tell me that she was coming but the hospital to return a breastpump back to the unit. She told me that she wanted to pump her breastmilk, not b/c she was going back to work but because she wanted to have a few beers with her husband and not get the baby drunk. By the way, she really didn't say this but something to the effect that "Is it OK that I have some beer but now breastfeed the baby?". Again, I appreciate the honestly and I try not to be judgemental. Well I guess b/c she felt so comfortable with me she asked when she could start having sex again after the birth of her baby (this is 2 weeks postpartum) So I went in to the next speech about that. (Fortunately I had a good OB teacher, a wonderful wolley midwife warn me about women who would ask so soon post partum) I did mention not to have sex till 6 weeks post partum but in all honesty, not to have sex until she stops bleeding (the wooley midwife said that she never ever saw anyone develop an infection b/c sex postpartum but she has seen many siblings born 9-10 months apart). So needless to say this friend comes in with her 4 month old daughter to return the breast pump and saw hi. She then announces that she is pregnant again, 3 1/2 months. I didn't question her, just said "Congrats".
OF COURSE THESE ARE THE HARDEST MOMENTS wondering..."How is this fair?" She gets 2 babies without trying and yours truly is not. Mama said that life never would be fair. She was right. Maybe I should drink more beer?
So latter in the breakroom every one was discussing kids and pregnancy and everyone asked "Are you gonna have anymore?" and I said "Maybe, if I can" and a new nurse says "Oh you are so great with the kids and such a great mom...you should". That was a tear jerker for me. How sweet of her to say that. If she only new.
Today is cycle day 22. I will have a blood HCG (pregnancy) test next Monday (in 5 days). My Lap is scheduled for next Friday..10 days. I really hope that 1) that the pregnancy test will be positive, cause I am ready and 2) if I do have the surgery that I can return to work that following Monday. Doc says it is an in and out precedure? Is he serious?
So my sisters, I should shower, shampoo, and shine.
Nighty night,
Annie
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