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January 13, 2004
Oh boy, I bet iParenting is saying, Whoa...annie TMI but it is true. I had hostile CM while on Clomid. BONE DRY to be exact. What does that make the 3-5 % of women that have that from Clomid? Not conductive for the swimmers and if you have been following my story, Clomid 50 mg failed x 2 cycles.
So the good news is that I didn't take Clomid this month and had lots of EWCM and boy was I frisky! Meow. OK the planets must have been aligned just right b/c I got an + OPK and timed BD just right (I am hoping). I even called in sick to be with DH so we could BD before he left to work. OH I AM SO BAD! I am also reading this book called "Getting Pregnant" and it says to keep thinking positive thoughts about being pregnant, so I have. I feel like a crazy lady walking around the house talking to myself or saying "I see my baby girl, I am holding her in my arms". OH this just seems silly and the more I talk about it I feel like I am jinxing myself.
Now the book also mentioned love making not just baby dancing. It mentioned massaging each other and getting creative with getting jiggy. Well I tried. I gave my DH a massage and was trying to be so romantic but all he could do was complain that his back hurt. Now really, would you want to BD with a severe back ache? I didn't want to tell him that we were BDing I just wanted it to be natural b/c he hates having to perform on de mand. BD was like a comedy of errors and it was so hard to stay focused on the positive thoughts. Fortunately all was good in the end and in 2 weeks we will know if the efforts were worth it. I also have my lap scheduled at the end of the month for the endo. Just hoping that I will have to cancel that appt. b/c of a BFP + Whatever the outcome I am hoping that I am one step closer to having our baby.
This weekend was a doozy otherwise. DH didn't feel good and he was so crabby. I was so busy that I was on the go 24/7. Iam making a major life decision and I am not so sure what to do...I also feel that I am not going in the right directions with my faith. I feel that I am not in a spiritual place.
My son started school again and he is so excited about the school year. He in now with his friends again and he is happy about it.
Work has been pleasant. Lots of babies being born and keeping me extra busy. I love my job but have been thinking about doing something different. More on that later.
Goodnight sweethearts
Annie
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