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Amy's Diary Entries Diary Navigation: Choose A Diary Entry -------------------- Latest Entry: 12/13/00 -------------------- 12/4/00 11/19/00 11/6/00 10/16/00 10/10/00 9/23/00 9/4/00 8/15/00 8/6/00 7/30/00 7/24/00 7/10/00 6/25/00 6/21/00 6/13/00 6/5/00 5/29/00 -------------------- Amy's Introduction

September 4, 2000

TTC #1, C#17, CD#28

Warning: Long and venty!
I have to first of all say a HUGE "WAHOOOOOOO!" for my friend Tammy who has conceived after two years of trying!!! I know that she and her hubby will be such good parents!!! Tammy, you've given me so much hope! I know that if we can just hang in there and keep the faith, good news will come! Hooray for you both! AND, congratulations to all of the new mommies-to-be on the boards!

I have missed the last two weeks of writing for two reasons. One, I was just bombarded with "stuff" to do with the beginning of school. Things are going very well and I am starting to slow down to make sure that ALL entries are submitted! :) Secondly, our phone lines were struck by a fallen tree in a bad storm last week. We were without phone/Internet service for almost five days. That was really bad considering the amount of time I spend on the phone a week -- LOL!! So, I am so happy to be 'back in the saddle again!"

I know that all of you know about the struggles that Celine Dion has had with fertility -- now PG. Well, I have just known since her song "That's the Way It Is" has been released, that she wrote that song for all of us TTC! (Now, whether or not she wrote it for all of us, I don't know -- but, it makes me feel good to think that she did it for ALL TTC'ers.) Last night, Troy and I were on our way home from a family gathering -- which I will get to in a minute -- and I was feeling quite sorry for myself because EVERYONE and their brother was asking, "Do I hear the pitter-patter of little feet yet at your house?" So, I was crying and saying that it's so not fair that we have to endure this -- and guess what? That's right, Celine came on the radio with her song! Also, when I am on my way to the RE's office, I always hear the song. Are any of the rest of you as crazy as me?? I just cry and cry -- because I know it's going to happen to all of us, just hang on! "When life is empty with no tomorrow, and loneliness starts to call. Baby, don't worry -- forget your sorrow cause love's going to conquer it all!" We will make it!

I am having more and more rough days. I think that this waiting game that I continue having with myself is starting to wear a bit thin on me. Why can't I have functioning ovaries? I just feel like a mutant freak! Heck, I don't even know if AF will show up this time around. I think I feel her presence, but I'm not quite sure. I have to hold off until yet another cycle has come and gone before we start on something new.

Another interesting thing happened to me this week. A parent of one of my students came to me with a card and said she thought I could use a hug, then she handed me the card. Inside, along with a very nice inspirational message, was the name and phone number of a girl and her husband that attend their church. She said that they have been TTC for five years and thought that I would be encouraged by her. Well, it took me a few days to call this girl, but I finally did. As she and I spoke, we learned that we both have PCOS and she has been down the same fertility roads that we are traveling now. She had done two rounds of the shots and got PG on the off cycle. I was totally psyched by her story and I know that our RE -- she and I have the same -- is one of the best! It's just so amazing how we are led to those people that share the same kinds of pain! I am thrilled for them. She is only about five weeks along. I am praying that it will be so great for them! They were PG a few months ago and lost the first one.

This weekend was hard. We were around family and they all were asking when we're having our first child. I just look at them and say, "Well, we are trying. It's just not very easy for us." It's just so hard knowing what to say. When, inside, I am wanting to burst into tears. I hope that at next year's reunion we have one -- or one on the way!

I have been talking to several people concerning adoption. We are just trying to prepare ourselves for the real possibility of this. The more we talk about it and prepare, I think the easier it will be if and when that time comes. Anyone with suggestions, I would love to hear from you!

I will stop rambling for now. I apologize in advance for not responding to messages on my board as quickly as I would like. I will get to them eventually, usually within a day or two.

Girls, we are going to make it!!! Remember to drink that Robitussin and keep those hips elevated!!! :)

Many hugs and ************ baby dust to all!!!

Love, Amy