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 | Amy's Diary EntriesDiary Navigation: |
January 19, 2000
OK -- so here's the deal. Once again, one of my ovaries was swollen and huge on Day 2 of this cycle, and so we have been told we have to wait again. But since last time, the "waiting cycle" was actually almost 2 months long since it takes me so long to ovulate without drugs, I told the doctor that if I hadn't ovulated by a "normal time" (i.e. 16 days or so) that I wanted to induce it with Provera because I couldn't take the wait. It makes me feel so helpless -- like I'm not getting any closer to my goal. Today is Day 11, so I'll go for some blood next week and see what's what then.
Real depressed lately -- ever since that negative test. I cry at the drop of a hat -- I can no longer just talk about this journey. I used to be able to discuss it with my close friends and family -- let them know what's going on... Now I get choked up in the first few words. I'm going to start going to a therapist -- because it helps so much to be able to say the words out loud without worrying about being judged, or getting pity... I'm really looking forward to it. I'll let you know how that goes.
Until next time,
Amy
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