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Amanda P's Diary Entries Diary Navigation: Choose A Diary Entry -------------------- Latest Entry: 10/11/00 -------------------- 9/27/00 9/13/00 9/6/00 8/21/00 -------------------- Amanda P's Introduction

August 21, 2000

Hello everyone! Well, I am currently playing the waiting game. I'm sure each and every one of you can completely relate. AF is supposed to arrive either Thursday or Friday. I feel very mixed up this cycle. Half of me is hoping and praying and the other part is whispering not to get my hopes up too high so I won't be crushed if AF shows her ugly face in a few days.

DS Ethan came home from school yesterday and declared loudly that he wanted a baby sister. It made me want to weep. I looked down at that round face, rosebud lips, and big brown eyes and wanted nothing more than to be able to grant his wish for all our sake. If only I had a magic wand that I could wave to create a new life stirring inside of me.

DH Paul is trying to be laid-back and supportive as usual. Although when AF arrives I can always tell he takes it personally. I catch him looking at Ethan and shaking his head muttering about what's wrong with him. As many times as I tell him that it's not necessarily him, he doesn't believe me. You see, he is one of 10 children. His mother gave birth every two years for 20 years of her marriage. So Paul thinks that all he would have to do is look at me and I would get PG!! Think again, honey!! It's just not that easy. I've explained to him several times that a perfectly healthy, fertile couple can take up to a year to get PG. That doesn't seem to offer him much comfort. Oh, I really do need to look into getting that magic wand.

I've been paying special attention to every ache, pang, and twitch in my body, trying to figure out what's going on. I keep trying to remember what symptoms I felt when I was newly PG with Ethan. How much did I cramp? How often did I have to go to the bathroom? How tired was I? What did my breasts look like? I just keep coming up blank, it's like I have amnesia or something. I guess it's because I worked full-time for medical benefits and took a full load of classes, I didn't have time to truly experience being PG. I was in survival mode. This time I am really going to savor and experience every twitch, every ache, every nap, even every bathroom trip!!! Poor DH, I'm even going to fully enjoy the experience of having a partner by my side this time, and I mean fully experience ... Oh honey, could you rub my back? My feet? Get me some ice cream? Hee! Hee! I'm so evil sometimes.

Well girls, I'm writing a book so I will sign off for now. You know each of you are in my thoughts and prayers. Here's to a fertile week for those waiting for O and patience for those like me who are waiting to see if AF visits. SAAF!!!!

Love,
Amanda