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The stuff that dreams are made of

August 18, 2007

I've only had four ttc/pg-related dreams that I've remembered upon waking. I do dream pretty regularly, just usually about random stuff.

My first one ever was that there were two little girls in my house. They were about 18 months old or so, with blond curly hair, and they were twins. I didn't know whose babies they were, but there was no one else to take care of them, so I was. They had bare bottoms and were getting into everything all over the house.

Then I had my first and only (so far) dream about being pregnant. It was wonderful, the best dream I have had in years. I had a big, round pg belly and I was just so happy and peaceful touching it and knowing that I was pg.

Next I had a dream that I was in line at an ice cream shop (like Cold Stone Creamery) and I had been waiting in line since the beginning, but people kept coming in and cutting me. I was getting annoyed. And the employees told me my ice cream would cost a lot more than everyone else's. Eventually I got so mad and started shouting about how I couldn't understand why my ice cream cost so much more and why I had to wait longer for it than everyone else did.

And last night I had a dream that I was about to re-graduate from college, but they told me I would have to pay an extra $800. I hadn't brought my checkbook with me and I couldn't get ahold of my parents. I had no idea what to do. There was a line of people leaving and one of my closest childhood friends, who went to college with me and who recently started ttc, was at the end of it. I said I would just come along even though I couldn't get my diploma, but my friend sadly said they would separate us and I wouldn't be able to experience it all. After they left, one of the college workers, who in the dream was the HR woman at my job, told me I could just pick up my diploma the next day. I got so angry again...I yelled that it wasn't fair that I had to pay more and wait longer and not get mine when everyone else got theirs and not get it in the same way at the graduation ceremony.

It's funny how our hopes and fears manifest themselves in our dreams.  My sleeping brain can take my sadness and frustration over our infertility and manifest it as a similarly-set-up situation involving ice cream or my college diploma.  Now...if only I could have some more of those dreams about being pregnant, please! :)