Reba's Diary Entries Diary Navigation: Choose A Diary Entry -------------------- Latest Entry: 4/13/08 -------------------- 2/18/08 1/17/08 11/24/07 11/13/07 10/31/07 10/17/07 9/18/07 9/2/07 8/24/07 8/18/07 8/15/07 -------------------- Reba's Introduction

It is history that teaches us to hope

August 15, 2007

Jeff and I do have a history of trying to conceive. It has taken me a while to accept the fact that it didn't happen on its own, or by accident, or even that it will likely not happen in an intimate setting in our bedroom, if it ever does happen at all. Sometimes these things still make me sad, but mostly I'm just hopeful that someday our dream of being parents will come true.

Although we had been thinking vaguely about starting a family "sometime" for a while, we actually started trying to conceive in May 2006. For the first few months, we were just letting it happen on its own. That was fun--every time we had sex, it was even more exciting than usual because I would think, "Wow, I'm probably pregnant right now!"

Then, as the months passed and my period kept coming like clockwork every month, I decided to do some research. I learned about ovulation predictor kits and decided to try them. I was shocked at how little I knew about how to make a baby. I had been doing all this research on how to be a good parent, I hadn't thought this part needed researching!

We used the OPKs for a few months, but they were very frustrating. First of all, we weren't used to having sex so many times within just a few days. Normally we spread it out more over the month. Also, we weren't used to having sex on-demand, when the sticks said we had to. It was very hard for both of us.

Around Christmas we started thinking something might be wrong. It had been more than six months and I still wasn't pregnant. We bought ourselves a Clear Blue Easy Fertility Monitor, FertilAid vitamin supplements (www.fertilaid.com), and Pre-Seed sperm-friendly lubricant (www.preseed.com). Our New Year's Resolution was that we would conceive this year and hopefully bear a healthy child too.

We set about trying in the new year feeling refreshed and hopeful. We took our FertilAid pills three times a day. I peed on sticks every day and rejoiced when I saw Peak Fertility on the monitor. We dutifully did the deed several times when we were supposed to, and even enjoyed it. And lo and behold, I started feeling some of the symptoms my wonderful message-board buddies had reported feeling when they were newly pregnant. But then my period came. We were devastated. We took the day off from work and took care of each other. One thing I am so grateful for through all of this infertility is how much closer it has brought Jeff and me together.

We picked ourselves up again and got back to it. Months went by. We did everything we were supposed to, took our vitamins, peed on fertility monitor sticks, had sex when the monitor said to. Like clockwork I would get my period 8 or 9 (sometimes 10) days after the monitor said I was ovulating. I got my period on Christmas, my birthday, Mother's Day, and Jeff's birthday. It was like my body was just being mean at that point! :)

After one year (13 cycles, since mine are pretty short) ttc, we decided to see what my OB-GYN had to say about it. Maybe it was normal for it to take a little longer. He referred us to a wonderful infertility specialist, and we are so glad he did.

In June we both had tons of tests done. My whole cycle was monitored with blood work and ultrasounds to find out exactly when I was ovulating and what my hormones were doing at other times during my cycle. We learned that I have a Luteal Phase Defect, which means there isn't enough time after I ovulate and before I get my period for an embryo to implant. So that was too bad, but it's fixable with progesterone supplements. Jeff had two sperm analyses done, and we learned that he has really low morphology, meaning that most of his sperm are shaped oddly in some way and can't get the job done. So we had a couple strikes against us.

Luckily, our excellent doctor has a great treatment plan for us. We wanted to start out as un-invasive as possible, so we're beginning with a natural ovulation cycle and a timed IUI. Hopefully that will happen sometime this month. This is our 17th cycle ttc.

I wish anyone reading this the very best on their ttc journey. I hope that someday my experiences will help you as others on this wonderful site have helped, and continue to help, me.