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I'm scared!
August 21, 2008
Ok well clearly there was no bfp at the end of last cycle otherwise I'm sure everyone would have heard me shouting it from the roof tops. So I went and saw the OB on Tuesday and everything looks good the cysts aren't any bigger so we are able to do another round of femara. I had a lot of heaving bleeding on cycle day 1 and he said it was because my lining was good and i'm responding very well to the meds. I was excited about that but obviously i'm not responding well enough since i've done 5 rounds of meds and no bfps yet. So now I have an hsg scheduled for Monday and I am petrified. I have read so many negative things about how painful it is and I am so not looking forward to this. I know it needs to be done and I know that sometimes it actually helps you conceive so i'm trying to put my fear behind me and just go with it. The OB was kind enough to give me an anti-anxiety pill to take before I go to make me relax. Otherwise good luck getting me to spread my legs for yet another stranger. So some more bad news since this is my 6th round of meds if I don't get pg this cycle at the end of this cycle I will be having the ovarian drilling done. Now if i'm scared for an xray can you imagine what I feel when I think about having surgery!!! DH and the OB think perhaps it'll scare me enough that my body will react in such a way that i'll get pg. Well I hope they are right because the thought of having 10-14 holes in my ovaries is not good. So right now I need all the baby dust and prayers I can get. Because I really don't want to have this surgery. But like with the hsg I will try my best to take it all in stride I know what I want and i'll just have to deal with what it takes to get it. I believe i'll be able to have at least one more round of meds after the drilling and then if I don't get pg then i'll have to move onto an re and start thinking about ivf. I had asked about IUI and OB wants to wait and see what the hsg results look like. I have to say i'm grateful he wants to wait on that to give me the best possible chances because my insurance only covers 3 IUI cycles then I have to pay out of pocket for it. So this cycle I will try to relax as best I can but believe me I will do everything in my power to get pregnant. I am planning a little romantic getaway to Sedona the weekend of ovulation. Hopefully the nice relaxed, romantic atmosphere will help.
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