Melinda's Diary Entries Diary Navigation: Choose A Diary Entry -------------------- Latest Entry: 4/24/08 -------------------- 11/3/07 10/27/07 10/20/07 9/21/07 9/8/07 9/1/07 8/12/07, Entry 2 8/12/07, Entry 1 8/8/07 7/14/07 7/9/07 6/30/07 6/26/07 6/12/07 6/9/07 5/13/07 5/6/07 4/27/07 4/26/07 -------------------- Melinda's Introduction

If it helps someone than it was all worth it!!

June 30, 2007

This past Sunday my Pastor asked if anyone had any testimonies to share. Several members stood up and as I was sitting there I felt that God wanted me to stand before the church and talk about my struggles with infertility and how it's been going through this. I didn't want to get up and I didn't not want to share such a personal thing with the whole church. But at the same time I made a vow to God that I would do His will when He asked me to. So I also stood up and when it was my turn I began to tell my story and it was the hardest thing that I have ever done. I admit that as a woman I was unable to have children was a very humiliating thing for me to admit. I shared how it made me feel and what I have been going through over the past years. I talked about how my job is a daily struggle because of the fact that I work with babies and at one point I tried to get away from teaching but God pulled me back to it. I talked about how I prayed to God to take the want for children away because it hurt so much and He never did. I also talked about my recent doctor visit and what I was told. I shared that had this happened ten years ago I would have seriously thought about committing suicide. I talked about how for so long I had God talking in one ear telling me to hold on and He would give me my heart's desire and I had satan talking in the other ear saying that it would never happen. Look at my life it's a mess. I even admitted that things were very shaky between Raymond and I. But I also talked about how I still believe in the promise that God gave me and now Raymond and I are in a situation that God can do something that only He can get the glory out of. Through this God has taken me to another level in Him and for that I am thankful. It was worth every tear,every sleepless night,every false pregnancy test,every poke of the needle. I told God that I wanted a stronger prayer life well He answered that prayer, I've been praying and fighting for so many things lately. This time I told satan that I would not back down that I was going to fight. That's what I mean. I know that there were several reasons why God had me stand before my church and share such a emotional thing, I know it was to set me free from the shame that I've had over the years, sharing this testimony is setting us up for our blessing, and the most important reason is that someone on that day needed to hear what I had to say and they may never come to me and admit it but it helped them.

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