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Happy Turkey Day!! Revised

November 22, 2006

CD# 26

Sorry about the last post, I got a little eager I guess. Hitting buttons too fast. Oops.

Well, I have to make a confession...I am an obessor. Not like stalker, but I fixate on something until I either do it or I find something else. Having a baby is something that I have been on and off about. Right now, I am very on about it. I work in inbound sales and right now we are very, very slow because of the holiday. I spent almost my whole day yesterday and today reading pregnancy diaries that are in the archive. I realized this morning how much I really, really want a baby. I mean, I always have, but first it was getting married, then living as a couple, then dealing with problems, and now with the buying the house, I have just been putting it off more and more.

Last night, Jake and I stopped at the bowling alley to get a drink and talk to my SIL (hubby's family is really big into bowling). I got a big soda because I was tired and didn't want to drink (not rare for me) and Jake a cocktail. I got the third degree as to why I wasn't drinking and they were staring at me like "I'm not going to ask, but are you pregnant?" I wish I was really I do. Then one of Jake's uncles bowls the late shift that starts at 9:30pm. Now, we haven't seen him in months, so I asked him, "So did you hear our news?" His response "Baby" Right... I wish. Nope the house. I mean we were talking for maybe 10 at the most before that. Man makes my heart ache.

When I was getting ready for work this morning I just felt like something was missing. And I think a Baby is it. I have been committed to getting pregnant and Jake wants to have kids now too, so I am making a huge effort to do it starting with my next cycle. AF is due sometime this week, so I shouldn't have to wait too long and I don't think that we bd at the right time this month, so I don't think that I am pregnant now. Other than being emotional I really have no symptoms and I think the emotion thing is from dealing with the house and everything else.

I don't know what me being more deticated means, but I am going to do it whatever it is. And if we are still Jake and Shannon in January when we have been off bc for a year I will talk to my doc again and have her run all the necessary tests. Wish me luck. Thanksgiving, I want to wish everyone a very happy and safe holiday. As I will be seeing lots of little ones, TTC will be on my even more than it is right now. My Bro's little girl is just over a year old and just cute as a button. My BIL & SIL have 2 kids, our godson Keegan (3.5years old) and Hannah. She is 10months. Then there is my husband's cousin who is 8 months old. He is such a little chuncker it's great.

Hopefully, next year will be all of our holidays ladies with the babies.

Baby Dust to All....