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Home › Diaries › Shannon › July 30, 2007

Shannon's Diary Entries

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Why Not Me??

July 30, 2007

CD7,
TTC Since December 2005
 
Ok, I know it has been awhile, so I will catch up in weeks.
 
On July 4th, I was spending the day with my little sis and one of her friends from college. We finally got her to get the tattoo that she has wanted since she spent 4 months in Ireland. Guess what it was.... 4, four leaf clovers. Since she was a little scared, her big sister got one too. So, I have a new tattoo, it's a nice four leaf clover on my right shoulder. It's about the size of a half dollar (my smallest one yet). She also got her tongue pierce, I would like to, but my dh is a stick in the mud about it and doesn't want me to. So, since I would get no sympathy while I was healing, I am still not doing it. Anyways, we had seen our brother on the way to the tattoo parlor, waved and went on our way. Well about 30 mins later Suzy, my little sis, get a phone call. My SIL peed on a stick and it's pg. Yah! Jake was all nice about it when I told him that they were going for the blood test the next day. He said, "Don't believe it for sure Shannon, not until they get the blood test." Yeah I know because earlier that week is when I had my pos HPT and neg blood test. Neverless, she is pg and they think due around the beginning of March. She had her first appt last week and I haven't talked to her since.
 
Week of July 9th
Nothing much happened this week. I finally started the Provera to get af on Thursday. Jake did start his new job and I think he likes it. You know guys, yeah it's ok. It's nice though that they appreciate his talent and work ethic a little more. I guess his previous employer doesn't know what they are missing. :)
Week of July 16th
Happy Birthday Jake (on the 16th). I got him a homemade wine making kit. He loves it, that's what he wanted. I have a very interesting dh. He planned our veggie garden specifically around him making salsa and planted it, even though I have the horticulture background. He wanted to do everything with seeds and I say buy the plants! But still was taking provera to get af. Started spotting Saturday a little.
 
Week of July 23rd.
Thank goodness, the Super Cycle is OVER! I got af full blown on Tuesday morning and Wednesday it just got worse. I had the weirdest period ever for me. I was going through Super plus tampons every 2 hours for like almost 3 days. I thought I was going to die of blood loss. But she is still coming and going as she likes. Spotty on Saturday.
 
Present:
Ok, now to present. This weekend was the county fair here. We love going, Jake's cousins are big fair people because they have a farm. They pretty well swept the floor with the lambs. Took first in whatever they brought. It was really nice because it was the last year his one cousin could show animals and last year, her sisters had to show her stuff because she was in a horrible car accident and had been in a coma. Friday night, we took our nephew to the tractor pull. It is the highlight of his year. Seriously he loves it, especially when they do the truck pulls and someone breaks something. Saturday, I started painting our spare room because we are going to be getting a roomie. Our good friend is getting a divorce and we offered him a place to stay for a little while. It should be interesting, guess I should really get our bedroom door back on the hinges. Hmm. During the day Saturday, I went to my oldest and dearest friend's daughter's first bday party. It was very hard because we started trying when we found out she was pg. Well, she is Pregnant again! Due at the end of February. I am so happy for her, but sad for myself. On Sunday, I was at the fair with my SIL, nephew and niece. The boys were playing with the care for the demo derby. Well, guess what. She is pg with number 3. I almost started to cry right then and there. She said she knew since Friday, but was scared to tell me. I think that hurt me more because she told a bunch of people before me and we are very close.
 
I am extremely happy for all the women in my life who are pg, but a feel a little, well a lota bit that it's not fair. Why is it so easy for them and so hard for me and Jake. My SIL gets pg the first month she tries, and everyone else within 4 months. And then they try and give me advice about ttc. I am sorry, but you don't get to give advice to a non pg person unless you were trying at least 6 months or there is something wrong with you. Don't we deserve to have a little one too! I went to bed while Jake was in the bathroom and I started thinking about it and couldn't stop crying. Jake had told me earlier in  the day that he pretty much didn't want to hear anymore about it, because I told him I was happy for them. Just really bummed for us. Well, he came in and I tried to hide it, but he could tell. He laid there with me and let me cry. I really needed that. So, right now I am an emotional walking time bomb. Should be fun going to look at wedding cakes with my friend Erin this afternoon.
 
I am taking Vitex (chasteberry extract) and Evening primrose to hopefully naturally regualte my cycle. I am hoping this works. I take the pills before bed. The vitex is supposed to help regulate your hormones and the evening primrose is supposed to help with cm. That hasn't ever been a problem with me, if you know what I mean, so we will see what happens. I hope that I have just a regular cycle and O. Af is being testy. She was gone all day yesterday and then came back last night, so hopefully today will be the last day.
 
Alright, I think this is a super long post an will do my best to get back on my weekly updates. Have a wonderful week and good luck to everyone ttc!
 
Shannon


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