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May 29th, 2007

May 29, 2007

cd 18 ttc#1 since December 2005

Well, I just had this big long entry wrote and I did something and it deleted the whole thing. I would seriously push my computer out the window today if I could. (They don't open)  I will try and remember everything, so here it goes.

First off, I would like to congratulate 3 amazing women from the ttc#1 board that got their bfp this last week or so. Bobbi, Susanna, and Katy. Love you guys. Congrats!! I still can't believe you are all pg. Oh! These women are great. They worried about my mentalness and us other ttcers when it should have been their moment. I have the best internet friends a girl could ask for. Hi to Becky too, so you don't feel left out.

As for me, I am trucking along. I am here, 3 days before I should O and I don't even have a high on my fertility monitor. No clomid for me this month because dh is refusing to get tested at this time because he says we haven't been trying long enough and my doc won't do anymore until Jake gets tested. When we got into the time conversation, he said it's been 2 years and I say one and half. Apparently Jake doesn't know how to tell time. But I told him the 2 years is all the more reason to get tested then. It didn't work  But on the upside, we decided that if I am not pg by Sept, when my annual is, he will get tested. It's not like it will hurt at all. It's the complete opposite actually.

But I am taking it slow because I am taking a mental break from ttc. I will still use my OPKs and fm, but I am going to try and stay calm and collected and away from here at least vocally, but it's really hard. ttcing has seriously taken over my life. More people are asking when we are going to have kids and it's like. It's not that easy you know. It's been  a year and half already! I have been getting myself so worked up over this that I need to be able to breath. My breaking point was last week, after all the bfps, I heard of a very good friend of mine was pg, again. Well, it turns out she isn't, but they are trying. I saw her this last weekend and she is giving me all kinds of advice on what to do and saying that maybe my doctor isn't knowledgable enough in this kind of stuff.

Well, first of all. I let her go because I know she means well. I mean I have seriously known her since we were like 7 and she just wants the best for me. Secondly, I have never thought my doc wasn't doing all she could given the what I am giving her. Thirdly, I have been trying for a year and half. I spend my days scouring the internet in search of what I should do I know. She tried for 4 months before she got pg. I think I know a little bit more about ttc than she does. I mean she knows more about pgncy because she has been pg. So, I have said enough is enough it's time for a mental break.

Other than that, not much else has been going on. Jake and I finally got some trim up in the kitchen. It looks great! I planted our herb garden this weekend and our veggie garden is growing like a weed. But we still have lots of stuff to do because we are having a housewarming party at the end of June. Should be lots of fun. We invited like 60 people and I have only heard from a few that they aren't coming. Oh my. It's a good thing that I am taking a mental break.

I think my novel of an entry has gone on long enough. Have a great week!

Shannon