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Time yet again

September 13, 2006

I do believe it's cycle day 13.  Nothing horribly interesting is going on.  Not ovulating, yet at least.  We're busy busy creatures these days... both working, etc.  I can't remember what it was like to work two jobs full time and still have (or try to have) a social life.  Insane really.. insane.

Work really is the problem.  I think I should quit and just sit around the house and do nothing... it would be far more interesting and fun.  However, the financial loss would be horrid.  So... unfortunately I get to keep working.  (Honestly, I love my job... but who wouldn't want to sit around and do anything their heart desires?).

Eddie and I sat around the other night talking about the different characteristics that we want in our children.  Eddie wants our kids to have a strong compeititve drive, while I want them to strive to win but accept defeat (if they lose, of course!).  Eddie doesn't want them to accept failure... and to hate it with all their hearts.  Unfortunately, I've tried and tried to explain that you can not always win and that it's great to work hard to win but if not, to instill in them a confidence that they're not a loser or failure!  ...something we'll work on.  He has said he definately does not want our children to have my over-sensitivity.  I agree with it.  I want them to be sensitive to others needs and caring and considerate but I know that things affect me in a way that is unexplainable.  The littlest things can be said to me and I think that the person that said it hates me.  I wouldn't ever wish that upon my children!

We also talked about how if we had a child that had special needs we would work together to give them the best life possible.  It's funny how when this battle first began we simply wanted "a boy" and expected it to be healthy.  Now we're both open to whatever we get, healthy or not.  So long as it's a child that we can love and raise to be a productive member of society...

We're really hoping this is the month.  I've been back into charting the temps, and although we have OPK's I haven't yet used them, because I haven't seen any change in my temp.  I think I may be consentrating far too much on the temping in comparison to the OPK's or the CM.  I am taking Robbitussin more often now... but not often enough.  And, since we didn't conceive before, I read that you can increase the Robbitussin to 4tsp 4Xa day.

This green, it's the color that we want to paint the eventual-nursery.  To be honest... I'm not sure how many of us have already planned that far or not, but Eddie and I already have a nursery theme!  We've decided to save money and do only one nursery.  Well... we decided this after we figured out the theme and that it was neutral!  We're doing an M&M's nursery.  We've started collecting things for it, making things for it (decopaging M&M wrappers onto different things, like frames, boxes, etc.)!  We're going to Las Vegas in December to visit the M&M World store (it's all M&M's) to find bedding and curtains and even wall hangings.  We're getting these bears in M&M costumes to hang from a plain mobile (advised and bought by a friend of mine who has already said she's going to be my child's aunt, no matter what I say!).

The only other "plans" we've made for this child is picking out names.  I know I told Anne N. but I don't know if anyone else read it etc.  We've decided on two names (one girl one boy) for right now...

Brayden Michael and Brooklynne Marie (possibly Raynelle, after my grandmother and mother).

...and yes, I know that both children will have BM as their initials (bowel movement).  But eh, you gotta get even with them before they get even with you, right?!

I have to get some work done... so I'll chat with you all later in the week!

Love and baby dust to us all....

Amanda