Amanda's Diary Entries Diary Navigation: Choose A Diary Entry -------------------- Latest Entry: 7/29/08 -------------------- 6/20/08, Entry 2 6/20/08, Entry 1 5/26/08 5/23/08 5/9/08 5/1/08 4/23/08 4/4/08 3/13/08 2/23/08 1/26/08 1/25/08 1/23/08 1/20/08 11/26/07 11/2/07 10/31/07 10/24/07 10/20/07 9/25/07 9/18/07 9/13/07 9/12/07 8/26/07 8/22/07 8/11/07 8/4/07 7/22/07 7/1/07 7/1/07 6/25/07 6/25/07 6/25/07 6/8/07 6/2/07 5/9/07 4/30/07 4/19/07 4/15/07 4/9/07 4/2/07 2/12/07 1/23/07 1/17/07 1/1/07 12/27/06 12/18/06 12/8/06 11/25/06 11/13/06 11/7/06 11/1/06 10/16/06 10/14/06 10/13/06 10/9/06 10/5/06 9/22/06 9/18/06 9/13/06 9/5/06 9/1/06 8/25/06 8/21/06 8/17/06 8/11/06 8/7/06, Entry 2 8/7/06, Entry 1 8/1/06 7/26/06 7/25/06 7/24/06 7/23/06 7/17/06 7/13/06 7/9/06 7/7/06 7/6/06 6/27/06 6/19/06 -------------------- Amanda's Introduction

A newfound hope

July 25, 2006

I'm going to attempt to make this quick for those of you who haven't already heard the story of what happened yesterday and then to update about what happened today :)

I got a bfN yesterday after testing at 2am cause I couldn't hold in my urine anymore (sad isn't it?).  At first all I wanted to do was sleep... which was fine.  So I zonked and it didn't really hit me til later last night (although I was on edge and irritable all day--also possibly another sign of af on her way?).

At home I was comforted by my dwonderfulh last night who just held me and said "it'll be okay".  I cried and got angry and even went as far as to say "I'm sorry I'm sterile".  But all was refound and good today, as I went to the dreaded ob/gyn.

I wasn't looking forward to the visit.  I was actually thinking about not going because my fear was that she was going to want to do cryotherapy and prevent us from trying for a month, all the while my insurance would change and bam-- we'd see another ob/gyn who would want a year of trying before taking fertility measures.  Alas, my ob/gyn came in (mind you, I was there for a repeate pap because I have dysplasia) and said "How are you today?".  I said "depressed, I took a home pregnancy test and it was negative... didn't work yet this month".  She told me to chill out and that it'll happen.  Then she said a tid bit of vital information.... "your progesterone test showed that you were in the low fifties, and although you only have to be at fourty to ovulate fifties are still considered relatively low.  Had you of conceived the progresterone level would probably have been too low to become a viable pregnancy anyway.  Your egg wasn't strong enough yet."  She then asked me what medical intervention I wanted this month.   :)

My options were: metformin and continue on 50mg clomid, go to 100 mg of clomid, or just metformin.  I told her I'd rather stick on clomid and see where it brings me.  So... I got a script for four months of clomid.  If it doesn't work by then she wants to begin on metformin, however... my insurance will be different at that point so I don't know what's going to happen (she's not covered by my new insurance).

So, I'm left with a newfound appreciation for life and a re-energized desire to ttc, which rocks.  Of course I hope it'll happen THIS month.... and my ob/gyn said it still may have happened this past month (because I haven't seen af yet).  She expected me to have already gotten my cycle... but said that I can wait til next week and if not to retest on a hpt and also do a blood test (I have the script in the car for the labs).

So... wahoo... and thank you to all the people who put out their kind and supportive words. 

~Amanda~